177lbs

I had a really bad night last night. I got on the scale after dinner, clothes and all, and the scale read "181.6". I just flipped out. I worked WAY too hard and sacrificed way too much this year to gain almost 10lbs in a WEEK.

I'm really disgusted with myself. I started purging the house of bad stuff by giving my sister two sleeves of un-diet soda that Boyfriend's mom brought over. Unfortunately, the families gave a us a ton of good stuff that they know we love to eat, and it's filling up my pantry. I don't want to get rid of absolutely everything, because Boyfriend likes that stuff too.

He's another thing. He says he hates how he looks right now, but won't do anything about it. Time for me to start making dinner again, I think.

New Years Re-cap and Rezzies

Well! Quite the year it's been, huh?

I've lost 30lbs, and gone down 4 sizes. It's a HUGE accomplishment for me to have done this, and I'm ready to start the new year with a new goal, and new ambition.

My original goal was 50lbs by the end of September, which I missed. I can blame it on nobody but myself, as I yo-yo'd a bit during the summer with the move and lack of funds. But, I can say I know what works for me, and what doesn't. I'm physically in better shape than I've ever been, and looking forward to a littler Chelsea by this time next year.

Now for my 2008 Resolutions:

1. Get down to 135lbs in the next year.
2. Cut fast-food consumption down to 1x every 2wks. (Cutting it out of my life is not in the foreseeable future, but twice a month should be fine.)
3. Teach my dog how to shake
4. Get a real spot with the corps I'm currently auditioning for, and have an incredible summer
5. Go to Vegas for my 21st birthday
6. Get Trevor and I into a decent house (not apartment), with possible fix-er-up potential.

I'm looking forward to health, happiness, and a whole lot of love in the next year, and making it the next best year of my life.


Happy New Year!!!

Updating.

So, I didn't make BD, which I'm okay with. This weekend I went elsewhere and got a call-back.

So now, I've got a strict workout regime that I must do every single day.

Run 30min/day, 4 days/wk.
100 crunches/day
100 shups/day
Some other form of cardio remaining 3 days/wk.

I need to practice and record myself before next camp, and basically rock it out. Tonight I took care of my crunches/shups in like 30min, with boyfriend watching. My pushups are kinda lame at the moment, been 3 years since I've had to do them for real...after I did 100, Trev got on the floor and totally made a fool out of me. It's okay, I'll get stronger. I only carry a trumpet around! He had a euphonium!!

It was kinda cool at the auditions, cuz we did wind sprints instead of a big long running block. Once we got into visual block, 3/4 of the hornline had to drop out and puke, and I definitely did not.

I'm really excited to be where I am right now, but I'm keeping it quiet until something definite happens. Until then, continue to wish me luck. I've got the kick-start I needed for some more weight loss, and definitely some ego for my drum corps persona.


Pretty stoked :)

Ugh. Finally.

I'm under 170 now, did I mention that?

Today I lost more baggage, and not the kind that rides on your hips, or under a plane. Just now I deleted DareTo. I got bored and lonely tonight, as Boyfriend's been out of town all weekend, and started reading old blogs. It started out on his, chock-full of typos and Lee Rudnicki-esque formatting...but he also mentioned little ol' me a lot. I sent him a text, since he's god-knows-where right now. "Been a long time baby. You loved me and just didn't know it!" We were always meant to be together.

But I digress.

From his, I went to my old ones, as far back as I could, and I was hoping I could get to when he was writing. But I only got as far back as my first few months in Florida, and really shouldn't have read those entries.

First of all: Sorry to everyone who had to read about my sex life. Inappropriate, and personal, and I should have never shared it.

Secondly: That Claudia chick was a bitch. So was Becky, and Nikki. However, Claudia was definitely the worst. But the one thing that ties them to me is that we've all been infatuated, or at least interested in the same man. I give them credit for their taste, if not their timing. However, I've got Trev for life, so I guess no time would have been a good time.

Thirdly: I can't "forgive and forget". The things Trevor did to me then still wreck my heart when I think about them. I will never forgive him for tearing me apart the way he did. However, I love the boy, and am able to move past them. That year will always be in our memory books, even if it's the page we flip past. It's made us who we are today, and unfortunately still linger in any arguement we have about fidelity. Trevor never cheated on me but it hurt just as bad. If I think about it long enough, I'll still get tears. However: I came clean to Trevor about a boy in Florida of my own when he was at DCI. Call it revenge, call it rebound, call it what you will...it still killed him, and he found out the same way I found out about every Claudia bullshit, by reading a password protected account. I never cheated on Trevor but it hurt just as bad.

I deleted all my entries because it's not fair to the future "us" to have that on our record publicly. While it still hurts my heart, and guides my trust, my man now is not the same boy I first moved in with. Neither of us were ready for the intensity of that realtionship. I wanted to hold tight to the person I always dreamed of, and he was used to having me as a back up.

I won't ever be able to get over that. I'm sorry, but it's true. It's been two years now, and I'm not mad anymore, just so much more aware.

My man loves me, more than any person on this earth (save blood ties). We've grown up together, and perhaps some of these indescretions were inevitable. We have a better understanding of who we are, and what we want out of life - and it's "us". We're willing to go through anything to stay together, because we're suckers for our love.

So while I may still hold onto past hurt, it only makes me love the man in front of me a millions times more, for being who he is today.

Well hi there!

So, BD auditions are in a week. Seven days that will fly by like no other. This past week I've finally decided on a piece, and I'm really happy with it. I had been previously working on something else, but it just wasn't motivating me. This one I have now is in one of my favorite keys, and it's exactly what they need: technicality and expression. Loving it. It is NOT a jazz piece, just in case anyone was wondering.

I'm really getting excited. There's a whole lot of positive evergy flying around, and here's the bottom line: I'm going to make the line. I AM. There's no way possible that I'm not going to.

That's it.

No one is going to take my spot. I've been gone from this family way too long, and I'm finally ready to come back and do what everyone has known I'm capable of.

I've been running at least three times a week. I haven't lost much weight recently, but as I mentioned before, I am down to a size 8...a HUGE difference from auditions 3 years ago when I was a size 16. My member jacket doesn't even FIT anymore! No problem tho, haha. I'll still wear it.

Starting Monday I'm going to start playing for Trevor, and hopefully for my mom at least once as well, to get rid of jitters. They're obviously going to be much less critical than Wayne or John, but still.

So. Good luck to everyone who's auditioning, and I'll talk to you next Sunday.

170.4

Slowwwwwwww weight loss. But I'm figuring any day now I'll lose like 5 lbs since I got so much smaller recently.

On the Blue Devil front, we're going to run at least a mile at auditions, so I need to get up to two miles super comfortably. I have my audition packet purchased, and one of the two updates downloaded. I also have exercises, and warm ups, which will help my finger dexterity to better perform my audition piece.

I'm so, SO excited about auditions now.

Today's plan (no work until like 2:30):
School 8-930
edit: go see mom at work so I can can money for a co-pay at Kaiser.
Go to Kaiser, try to get new glasses and contacts.
11am Dentist appt for a permanent crown. (ugh.)
Come home, PRACTICE for like an hour.
Leave early for work, go to the gym with my fancy new ipod. (which now works, but my Nike+ shoes are too big!)
Work @ 2:30
Jazz band @ 6:30 up in Napa.

Size EIGHT.

Huh. Went in for a pair of size 10 jeans, and instead came out with 8s.

Kinda crazy, since size 6 is my ultimate goal, but I still feel like I have way further to go still, as the scale hasn't moved below 170 yet.

Ah well. Huh. Maybe size 4 then?

fight the temptation!

Man.

My kitchen is a fat-kid's dream right now. Lucky Charms, Kix, Banana Creme Pie, bacon, ice cream, and marshmallows in the pantry. But what am I eating right now? Veggie medley (broccoli, red bell, and mushrooms) and tuna.

I came home my my eye appointment in Vacaville, and I was really tempted to relax, watch TV, and have a big ol' slice of that pie my BF insisted on bringing home. (I did have some last night, I'm no angel) Instead, I got out of the apartment for an hour and KILLED it at the gym.

First I speed-walked on an incline for 5min, then ran for 15 more. Did my new weight-lifting pattern, ran for 5 more minutes, then did the pattern again. I'm not looking at the scale for a couple days, because the number is icky :( with the strength training, the muscle is adding a little bit of weight. BUT, I'm wearing a pair of 8/10 spandex pantalones right now that my teeny tiny mom gave me. So there :)

crisis adverted.

Okay, well the root canal is done and pain free. I've also had an eye crisis this week...apparently all those warnings about wearing your contacts too long are REAL. Eye ulcers suck, especially right in the cornea. *shudder*

Anyway.

I found a workout regimen that I LOVE. It's from FullFitness, a free fitness website. (I'm doing the fat-burning one. I tried it out tonight, and having a list to follow kept me from flailing with the weights.

I'm kinda frustrated with my body right now. Not my weight so much, but I guess more of my immune system. I'm taking really good care of myself, and all these bull-crap setbacks keep happening. Whether it's the flu, or temporary blindness, or a root canal...it's just mentally hard to work through.

I will work out each day this weekend, and Saturday and Sunday I'll do 3 sets of the fat-burning work out. Tonight I only did two, but ran around my apartment complex, and up the three flights of stairs, after.

I'm so close to the 160s. This always happens, I get close to a 10lb mark, and then something gets in the way. Pretty retarded.

Oh well. Thinking positive. This new routine will keep me from getting bored for a while at least, and it truly challenges me, and I leave the gym exhausted. Good.

my best assests are disappearing

Soooo, I've lost like 10lbs since DCA weekend. Maybe a little less, but not really. Unfortunately, that weight seems to have disappeared from my butt and my boobs. My mom noticed the top, and boyfriend definitely notices the lower part missing :(

So I'm looking for the Daisy Duke workout...what Jessica Simpson did to get ready for the movie. I want to be in shape, but I can't lose my signature behind!

Haha, whatever. I'm being ridiculous.

My birthday is in two weeks. With twenty pounds to go now, I'm successfully past the 1/2 way mark, and with my recent weight loss without any exercising, it would be easy to assume I might get there. But I know realistically I won't make it down to 150, but I'm trying. I'm going to work out tomorrow morning, and sunday as well...I just have to get in workouts when I can. I might start going up to Fuerza (my mom's pilates studio) on Tuesday mornings between classes...I know she'd like that. I probably should.

I'm pretty happy with my progress. I know I sucked it up this summer, and I wasted a bunch of time...but there's no denying I lost 30lbs. I'm very much looking forward to family pictures this Christmas, and comparing them to last year.

171.4

Uh, okay.

teeth suck (173.8)

Hi guys.

I'm eating again, good thing. The puking has stopped, I'm just still super tired.

But a couple weeks ago I had a filling done. It was for a tooth with a really deep groove, and apparently even if I washed my mouth out with bleach every night on top of brushing/flossing twice daily, I still would have ended up with a cavity in that tooth.

Well, the filling they put in had to go super deep, and now it is cracking my tooth apart. Sweet, huh? So my dentist thinks I definitely need a crown, and I probably need a root canal too. (I'll find out on Friday) UGH. Add this on top of the wisdom teeth I need pulled, and I've got a big ol' party going on in my mouth.

I just picked (maybe) my audition piece, and if I end up with all this major mouth surgery, how exactly am I supposed to practice? Double tounging (my nemisis) isn't exactly easy anyway, let alone with gobs of gauze in my mouth. Friggin' A.

Heh, the plus side is I'll only be able to eat out of a straw, so maybe I'll lose more weight.

KIDDING!

Kinda.

Ugh. Today sucks. Add that on to my test in Physchology today, which I am completely UNprepared for (kinda hard to prepare without a book.), and I'm pretty freaking cranky this morning/afternoon.

I do have jazz ensemble later, which I'm very much looking forward to. I'm playing with a ton of people from high-school. It's actually almost exactly the make-up of jazz band my junior year, with a couple old guys thrown in the mix.

Okay. I'm gonna go study my notes for class now. I hope I don't need a scantron or anything. That would REALLY friggin' suck.

173.8

Well hi!

I know, what a stranger, huh? Well I just got back from Rochester last week, and I've been very sick this weekend. I finally have weekends free, so I promise I won't be so neglectful (I know, the best laid plans, right?)

In BD news, I practiced for an hour today, on a incredibly hard but FUN etude. We'll see if I stick with it, but I have to pick a piece very soon so I can get that down pat.

Health wise, eh, haven't worked out at all recently. But doing a lot of drum corps (and way less eating) has helped me maintain, and DROP weight! Do you see that? 173. (ish) Super close to the 160s :)

Tiffany from Renegades has offered herself for (free) tutoring sessions for me, add that on to Jazz band on Tuesdays and my supportive boyfriend, and I've got practicing down. I got running to like 15min without dying, always trying to do better.

Trev and I are considering getting me to a mid-west BD auditions, get my face out there some more. Imagine me being in Indy at auditions, and John Mehann's face, lol.

Now we're off to the dog park and dinner at mom's house.

175.2lbs

Well, thats what it said on Saturday morning.

Anyway, Blue Devils won DCI. I'm pretty iffy about it, because a long time ago, three best friends and I shook hands over some fast food, saying that in 2007 we'd all march Devs A Corps, go to Finals in SoCal, and get rings. Unfortunately, only 1 of us did it. There was no major emergency that stopped the other three of us from marching. Basically, just life.

It just really kinda hit me. I need my priorities in check. I could be wearing that ring, but I didn't make it a serious goal in my life. Now, I have only 2 years left to do it. I also realized that I don't really care about the ring, I just want to march there. I'll regret it my whole life if I don't.

Anyway.

I ate like crap at Trevor's family's house this weekend, but we had a puppy emergency on Friday night that made me need comfort food. In reality, it wasn't too bad, just more food than normal. But puppy is doing better, my best friend is coming home to motivate me, boyfriend is gonna kick my butt if I don't practice...things will work themselves out.

I'm just really stressed right now. I hear working out is a good remedy for that ;)

176.6lbs

Finally, FINALLY! Some movement! I've been drinking a whole lot of water the last three days, trying to combat my new office-chair position. I might not move as much as I did in restaurants, but if I drink multiple liters of water a day, I HAVE to get up sometime to go potty, right? Haha.

Soooooo lets see. It's now the middle of August, and I'm pretty far away from my goal. HOWEVER, I've done pretty stinkin' decent at taking a bunch of weight off, keeping it off, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle, all WITHOUT killing myself.

My focus is changing a bit now. I'm not exclusively trying to look better anymore...now it's time for me to officially get in shape. Drum corps auditions are right around the corner. Div I size is going up from 135 to 150, and with a big turnover rate in BD's hornline this season, it's now or never for me. I don't want to rook-out with Devs (while there's nothing wrong with it). I'm a Blue Devil, I've done 2 years in the organization already, and I should at least finish it up with the same amount of time with the big boys.

So, this blog is going to focus a little more on me prepping for that, rather than calorie count. However, the more I play and breathe with rythmic accuracy (shout out to my bass drum boys), the more I work on strengthening my core to march better, the more I run so I'm not in the back in the running block, I'm still going to get in shape.

Also, I know there are a few people who read this who have known me (if electronically) for quite a few years now. I want you to read this, support me, wish me luck....and honestly, if I make it, I'm going to need sponsorships, pretty badly. I've been living on my own for two years now, and I'll need to pay my rent for the three months I'm on tour.

I'm not asking anyone YET, just trying to put this blog out there so if anyone ever says "hey, who deserves to be sponsored?" ( and through hard work and dedication I make Devs) you think of your girl Chelsea over here. :)

Okay so.

Today I ran at 5.5mph for 10min. Everyday I'm going to try to boost it up another minute. Today I felt great, until I stopped running. Then I almost died. So I jumped on the elliptical for 15min to keep my blood pumping. Then I grabbed the 10lb hand weights and worked my triceps (not gonna lie, my arms are a little flabby.) I then held one weight up like a horn and did some slides. Kinda dorky, but whatever.

As mentioned, I'm seriously drinking a ton of water at work. Keeps me from snacking on the treats in the back room.

Stay tuned, por favor. This girl is goin for the GOLD! err...blue.

Twelve.

As in SIZE 12.

Wooooooofreakinghoooooo!!!

They're Levi's too, which is friggin awesome, since Levi's run small, or so I'm told.

They're snug, but not ugly snug...my ass looks amazing! Also, plenty of motivation to workout to get them loose, and then too big. I will never buy 14s ever again.

Way excited.

Eating today has been kinda crappy...a Chop Chop Past Salad (SBUX) for breakfast (at like 6am and 8am) and then a ham sandwich from Genova's Deli. (Ham, fresh mozz, tomatoes, lettuce, onions, oil/vin instead of mayo, sour roll) We'll probably do something light for dinner, if anything. Mom wants to take us to Celedon for apps and salads, which sounds right up my alley. We'll see.

This weekend is gonna be nice and relaxing, just the 777 Renegade picnic on Saturday, then Sunday at the Hollister Bike Rally with Trev's mama. Then back to the grind on Monday, and a new JOB! Then next weekend, in LA with the corps. I won't have a whole lot of time to work out, so it is really going to be all about eating right and drinking LOTS of non-alcoholic, 0-calorie beverages,

Hope ya'll are doing well!

Chels

Water we doing?

Sorry I'm not updating with daily weights...I'm trying to be real good about not weighing myself every single day.

I'm forcing myself to drink more water...I'll make a venti cup of ice water, and give myself an hour to drink it, no matter how busy I am. I also ate breakfast today! look at me go.

Now I should head to bed, since I have work at 4freakingam tomorrow.

Love, peace, no grease!
Chelsea

Retarded.

Drum corps used to make me skinny...now I come back from camps weighing a pound heavier. Probably all the beverages and crap food we eat makes that happen.

This weekend is just a corps BBQ and then the rest of the weekend with BF's mommy, so I SHOULD be okay...Time to step it up just a little bit, probably go from 30 to 40 minutes on my cardio machines.

Dinner was good tonight, just a conglomeration of leftover stuff in our freezer...last piece of chicken, half bag of oriental veggies, and brown rice (not from the freezer, lol.) Probably ate too much, but makes up for not eating earlier today. I know, I know, but I was busy, getting a NEW JOB!

Don't know if I've mentioned chiropractic at all in here, but I want to be a chiropractor. I start my preresiquite classes in the fall....biology, chemistry, psychology, etc to be able to go to the school in Hayward in hopefully a year or so. So today I was looking for a new job, and I saw a REALLY nice chiropractor's office, so I went in on a whim. Talked to the office manager, then the Doctor, and they both love me, and I'm in there at 11 on Monday to fill out all my paperwork!

So I'll be working two jobs for a while, wanna see what kind of hours I can get at the office. The BEST part? (here's my never-ending optimism) I have to walk to both jobs. My mom is talking about getting me her bike, but we'll see.

So thats what's going on right now, have a great 4th!!!!

178.2

So last night I had some good food that my tummy was like, "okay, not good for me" so today I feel a little bit like I have a hangover.

BUt I did have a Baskin Robbin's banana sundae (versus the brownie one) with low-fat ice-cream, instead of the otehr one I wanted, and it actually ended up being hecka rich.

Today is a U-turn day, however. I can't think of anything tastier than that big bowl of fruit I'm going to have for lunch from the SBUX chilled meals fridge. Mmmmmmm.

Also, in unrealted news, I'm sick of dumb girls.

I have to get onto my other computer, cuz it's damn time I updated that little scale in the corner over there.

Maybe I will after I get back from the gym with neighbor/coworker Emily. We're gymming, then pooling/tanning. Yay.

A girl at work told me I look super skinny today. I'm not, I'm nowhere near skinny, but I am getting slimmer. It's wonderful. Seriously, I'm under 179. Read any post, that's like the magic number. I don't honestly remember being this number, EVER. Obviously I was at one point, but it was only on my way (weigh?) up.

K, time to change and call Emmy-poo.

Do you guys even read this anymore?

178.6

:)

179.2

Well, this is according to my wacked out scale.

But, I'm not getting a new scale anytime soon sooooo we're gonna just keep going with the number it gives me, even if that means taking a numerical step back.

I'm working out everyday, a nice combination of cardio and weight lifting...I'm concentrating on my core. My legs and arms are pretty muscular, it's my lower abs and lower obliques that are my problem areas. While they have muscle too (it's always nice to discover unknown muscles in the mirror) I'm flabbiest there.

97 days to go!

97days=13.85weeks
30lbs/13.8weeks
=
2.16lbs a week

COMPLETELY doable.

My motivation:

Me at Christmas.

Ewwwwwwww

It's crunch time, ladies and gentlemen.

So, as I was dating brownie bites at Starbucks yesterday, I noticed their expiration date is June 28th. Which is of course, 3 months from September 28th, which is the deadline for me to lose 50lbs.

I'm sitting at having lost 23-25lbs, remember my wacky scale, so that just leaves me with just another 25ish to go. I lost 20lbs in the first two months of this, and then pretty much stopped working out/eating better until just recently. Soooo to my body, I'm starting a new diet, which is of course when you lose the most weight.

The difference this time is I'm pretty much broke. So no SlimFast anymore, and definitely no more HydroxyCut. True, I only bought one bottle of it and only took them sporadically, but still. This is true dieting here now folks. I'm really good at working out after work. I love it. Today I've been browsing photos of my weekend drum corps shows, so I didn't go when I got off 2hrs ago, but I still have all afternoon. It's only 12:30 for jeezy.

Everyone at work knows about my dieting and working out, and I find that is super helpful. I don't want to have a pastry because then I'll just fall back into Fat Kid mode, and people will feel sorry for me for not having any self-control. There's actually a couple who want to come work out with me, or lay out in the sun with me after, which is super convinient, since I live right behind work. I like it. Making friends and looking better all at the same time, right?

Well here's a recent picture of me, from the weekend actually. My thunder thighs have never looks smaller. (even set between two skinny guys, I don't look too bad, huh?)

Starbucks curse.

So, I'm sure you've heard of it...girls start working at Starbucks and gain 5,10,15lbs in the first month.

WELL!

Not me.

I, in fact, have lost 5lbs in the last two weeks.

I'm not sure of my exact number right now, as I'm sure you remember, my scale was reading heavy after the move. However, I'm still using it to figure out what I've lost since I've been in California.

I've got a nice routine down now. Do an early morning shift at work, come home, walk puppy, nibble on a little somethin-somethin, work out, then nap by the pool. Then I still have all afternoon to do work around the house (or TV watching) that would normally prevent me from working out.

I feel good, I look good, and I'm starting to enjoy working out again. Except I think I got some sort of rash from the gym floor last time...I'll make sure to bring a towel with me today, lol.

How's life, faithful readers?

Back from the dead

Hey guys.

I'm still right around the same weight, things have been kinda stressful with a new job, the new place, and of course, drum corps on the weekend. But, I'm getting back into it. I've been working out mostly everyday after work, for the past week, including today. I only have 4.5 months to lose my 30 pounds to get to 50, and I'm trying real hard again. I'm tanning out by the pool too, so I feel more confident about myself.

There's been some stuff recently that has made me kinda ashamed of my body, so I neglected it for a while. While compliments are nice, harrassment is not, and I've just wanted to cover everything up for the past few weeks.

Boyfriend is back on board with me as well. He doesn't like what he sees around his middle, and I am more than happy to help him out. Starting with healthy meals ,and smaller portions. While I can't control what he does at work, or how often he works out, I can do my part by making nutritious dinners for us.

I'm pretty exhausted all the time right now. We don't have a bed yet, so we've been sleeping on air mattresses that deflate during the night. Also, I've started working early shifts at Starbucks...like EARLY early 4am shifts. So I'll eat something on my "lunch" at 8am, and thats about it until dinner. I do my best to get drinks with 10 calories or less. (ie espresso or tea drinks with sugar-free sweetners.)

I am happy, I'm just still adjusting to our new life. But I think with some consistancy, like my working out everyday, things will get easier.

And I can always sleep when I'm dead, right?

new apartment!!

So, I got a new place in Napa Junction, which is like, in between Napa and American Canyon (which is between Napa and Vallejo). We haven't signed the official lease quuuite yet, but we will do so this week.

While it's a bit more expensive than we were hoping, it's going to save me some money in gym fees. See, the gym isn't a lameo excuse for a gym like my old place...no no. This one has cardio, free weights, some weight machines AND TVs. Yay. So I don't have to pay for a new one.

Also, my mom's scale might be off, cuz I got on mine, and the number most definitely wasn't the same.

But whatever. I've been eating like crap recently, since we've hardly paid for a single meal since we got out here. once we're in our own place, paying for every bite, I'm sure I'll go back to cheap fresh everything.

Sorry for the negligence, I'm just trying to get settled here. I'll be back regularly soon enough.

love
Chels

178

prettyyy awesome.

Since I last posted, I had to pack up my life , and move to California. This also involves packing up my trusty scale :( But it's okay. We ate like crap on the road, no time to sit down and eat, so our only options involved paper cheese.

Since we've been in my mom's house, I've felt like I'm only eating crap. So, I assumed I gained a couple pounds.

But, low and behold, this morning I go and weigh myself on mom's scale, and it reads 178! Hmm. Whodathunkit.

Yesterday WAS a very athletic day for us. I went and did an hour of hard-core pilates with my mom, then we walked the dogs in the Napa foothills, then we played catch, THEN we played a game of 1-on-1 basketball, which I pretty much suck at. oh well.

So this morning I'm sore, and much lighter than I expected. Sweet.

179.8

Woohoo.

I guess stress is the best diet for me.

Well, stress, thin stick pretzels (2cal each), and Diet Nestea (0cal).

Life kinda sucks right now, I'm pretty much stuck in Florida for the moment. Until a miracle happens, or my mom comes to her senses (which in itself would be a miracle.)

I have the day off, so lots of matinence cleaning...we got the carpets cleaned 2 weeks ago, but still have a non-potty trained puppy. Reason # 247.3 it makes more sense for us to leave now. I'm thinking I'll just cover the carpet in puppy pads, yeah?

183.6

Yesterday morn, after my exciting first day of eating well and recording as much, I weighed 184.4. It's always that, right? Ugh. Well, apparently thats where I was.

This morning, after a pretty crappy eating day, (it started with Cracker Barrell, then nothing, then a chicken sandwich and shared strawberry shortcake at the Marlin's game) I weighed almost a pound less!

Yay.
Today I've just had a couple chunks of melon, about 20 thin stick pretzels, and a can of 0cal Nestea. My boyfriend's the best, he came home with a bunch of no-calorie drinks for us. Water does get rather boring.

Tonight's DCI Classic Countdown, but I gotta get some housecleaning done after work so I can sell the house to our friend Marcus. Yes, that would be good. That way I can move my smaller butt back to California!

Eek, I gotta be at work in 14min.

Byyee

2800cal lighter

Yep.

Keeping a food diary keeps me focused on what I'm eating. I can't just forget about calories if I'm writing them down, so I don't want to eat the bad stuff so I don't have to have written proof I ate them!

Sooooo I ate 1476.5cal today...not bad at all! Jackie on Workout wants her SkyLab clients eating 1300 calories, so I'm close, yeah?

I think I mentioned last night that to maintain my weight, I need to consume 2400 calories a day, to make up for all that I burn, just existing throughout the day. So, what everyone tells you, is to take the "daily energy expenditure" number, and make sure you have 500 less calories every day to lose 1lb a week. (3500cal=1 pound)

For example: I could eat 2400 calories a day and burn an extra 500 calories by working out, and if I did that everyday, I'd lose a pound a week. Or, I could not workout at all, and eat 500 less calories. Or, the easiest way the experts suggest, eat 250 less calories and burn 250 more calories.

Get it? Got it.

Sooooo I ate 1476.5 calories today, right?

Well, including my daily energy expediture (2400cal), my fast walking at work for 4 hours (1300cal) and my bike/eliptical workout this evening (150+450cal) I had a defecit of 2823.5cal.

That means I only have about 700 more calories to burn to lose 1 whopping pound, in one day!

Yay math.

Back on the Fat Wagon

And I hate it.

I've gained about 3lbs from my lowest of 180.4, and it just feel so icky. Today and Saturday I did 30min of cardio, then some ab and arm exercises. I've also enlisted my boyfriend to yell at me and withold cuddles until I work out. Quite convincing, I have to say.

I've come up with some different tactics to tackle my next 20lbs. I'm starting a food/exercise journal, complete with calorie counts (burned and consumed). CelebrityFitClub.com says I should be consuming about 1600cal a day to lose weight. I know I go from 1000-2000 calories. Quite a difference there, huh?

Also, CFC also told me my BMI is 31. This is better than 35, what it used to be...but this is also NOT taking into account the amount of muscle I have versus other people of my height/weight. So, I'm assuming it's right around 28...which, while still heavy, is not too far away from a healthy BMI of 18-24.

I've also created a Excel spread sheet to record my weight, waist size, and energy level for the next three weeks, and I am NOT weighing myself 47billion times a day. I'm going to try for every two days...which is a lifetime for me!

Okay, I have to go pick up boyfriend now...I skipped out on cuddling with him between turns at the bowling alley to come home and work out. Which I did. There was a skinny chick on the eliptical when I went across the street to the little gym (like, 10x10') and I almost didn't go in.

But then I did, and now I smell. Yay.

182.4

Yay! Since Monday I've lost two pounds. Boyfriend beat me with four, however. Of course, cuz he's a boy.


Last night for dinner we had artichokes and Monterrey chicken. Yes, with two r's. Grilled chicken breast, couple slices of avocado, with a slice of melted provolone over it. Mmmmmmmmm.


Well my computer is dying and I have to clean the house. So I'll go, but I'm making progress again. Yay.

back to the gym

So I finally got off my butt and went to the gym this morning. Not the little neighborhood gym, Planet Fitness, actually. I needed to see other people working out, instead of my doggy barking at me to feed her breakfast. She's not very motivating, lol.

I had a Slim Fast before I left, and I think I'm gonna have a couple bites of ham for protein to take advantage of my metabolism.

Also, I think I need to change things up at the gym. Recently (when I have gone) I've done the bike for 25min to warm up my legs, then gone to the elliptical or running. Thing is, the bike doesn't really get my heart rate too high. 140-145 at most. But on the elliptical, I'm goin 7mph in the first few minutes. Sooooooo I think I'm gonna to that first, THEN the bike, so my heart rate is still up, so I can burn away my booty faster.

Well now I have to walk the dog and shower before work. It's an icky 8:30-4 day today...tomorrow I can slack a little more since I don't go in until 10.

Reno, you back with me?

Chelsea Loses Weight: Take Two.

Hi.

It's me.

How is everyone?

Austin, I know that was you.

Sooooooo Wednesday, it'll have been a month since I kinda...well...REALLY started slacking. My diets the same! Just...not NEARLY as much working out. I've gained about 2-3lbs...not that bad, but not that good either. I could have been losing weight for all that time.

Monday I start again. Fresh. And my goal is 10lbs in the next month. It's alot, I know, but I've done it before. The best part is that this time, boyfriend is dieting with me! And I'm going to make us dinners that are healthy, and he can't complain that he wants mac and cheese and meatloaf, because we all know, not-so-secretly, I want macandmeat too. He's gained some weight since he was at his lowest after the summer of 05, and he's not happy about it.

I know my 20lbs is ALOT, but I'm still kinda in the same general area I have been. People aren't gonna be like, "WHOA Chels!". They'll just say, "oh, you look great!"

Nuh uh. Back on Team Skinny-Shock. (I added the "shock" part to the already existing TS.)

So this weekend we went all out at Orlando theme parks. Universal Studios, Islands of Adventure, Sea World..pretty awesome. We weren't eating every funnel cake that came our way, but I will admit two pretzels and one hotdog were consumed this weekend.

Get used to that, by the way. Me writing down what I've been eating. I've fallen back into snacking at work. Crouton or two here, pinapple and grapes there, couple muffin tops (I know, I know).... I just need to stay reliable and get back into being really stringent.

Something else I discovered this weekend? I like mahi-mahi! I had it at Bubba Gumps. It actually doesn't taste like anything, which we decided is better than tasting super fishy. Soooo I'll be coming up with some super tasty but healthy dinners for us. Actually, I've got a recipe for ya for some zucchini...we tried it the other night.

Slice 3 zuccs lengthwise, carve out a little bit of the middle, like a canoe. Sautee some garlic in a wee bit of EEVO for about 5-10 seconds. Lay zucc cut side down in oil/garlic, season with salt/pepper/garlic powder to taste. Careful of not letting garlic burn, heat zucc until cut side is soft and tender, but skin is still crisp. Now add a little more salt/pepper, and sprinkle crumbled low-fat feta cheese on top. Broil until melted.
(That recipe is from my Chicken Soup for the Fat Ass' Soul, btw)

REALLY yummy, and BF loved it. I made that with my lobster/tri-tip dinner, Reno. I'll get you more recpies.

Okay, I'm tired now, and my puppy really wants to lick my face.

Sooooooo to recap (because as boyfriend informed me tonight, I tend to birdwalk)
1. hiback.
2. Austin sucks.
3. Chelsea sucks more.
4. Boyfriend admitted he sucked.
5. Orlando did NOT suck.
6. Low-fat/low-cal recipes from now on because...
7. ...WE (yes! both of us!) are on the weightloss track, and have a goal of 10lbs EACH in the next month. That means my fat-butt will be in the low 170's by the time I arrive back in California. Yay.


Next time...how Chelsea is totally freaking out about this move to California.

LOVE!

181.0 again.

Meh.

Yesterday I ran out of the house way late for work, and didn't get my SlimFast. Soooo I had like 6 pieces of pineapple. Then at home, all I had was a few peanuts left over from hockey, and those damn sugar free gummy bears. but then Trev and I made chicken and broccoli alfredo bake. REALLY good, and I didn't eat too much.

but I went to Old Navy to try size 12s, and they fit! I was abotu to take them home with me. But then my Patrick-substitute, Rachel, was like "Girl, you KNOW them pants too tight." They were. Just a little bit. Like, seriously, like a centimeter too tight. They fit well enough that I would normally bring them home. But Rachel smacked the sense into me with her candid response, and told me to come back in a week, because then, "they'll slide right up over those hips you got, and you'll feel so much better."

But in general, I think I'm over Old Navy. Their pants fit real weird. Tight in the thighs, and loose in the waist. And the crotches are always like two inches below my hoohah, making my legs look shorter than they already are. Apparently they run small, too? So I'm thinking about making a trip up to the mall to American Eagle to try some 14s and some 12s. I gott buy a pair of Jimmyz jeans before I move to Cal, since we don't have them out there. :( sad face.

Okay, I go now. Panera Bread with boyfriend and puppy, and then HOCKEY! The second to last game of the season :(

181.0

I really have no motivation right now. I hurt my shoulder at work the other day, and I just don't want to do anything. Now, I know biking and running won't hurt it any, probably will loosen up the muscle, but meh.

I'm way stressing with this move coming up. I have to get this house sold or rented before I can leave, which involves quite a few little fix-ups. I have to save so much money so we can be set to go, for the movers and for our own trip across the country, AND to have a little money saved up so we can get into our own place ASAP.

Also, this stupid girl is telling my boyfriend she is going to wait for him. She had her chance for five years, and completely blew it. Sorry baby cakes, you effed up, and if you want to wait around, please, go right ahead. But you're going to be waiting until I leave this earth, because nothing else is going to break us apart.

Thats why I didn't go to the gym this morning. After Boyfriend left for work at 5:30, I said I'd sleep in until 7, get up, go to the gym. But, I didn't sleep thinking about this dumb girl. I want to email her, telling her to leave me and Boyfriend alone. Or, if she really wants to be friends again so bad, to be a real friend and quit trying to break us up. This will be attempt #2 since Christmas '05. I'm just sick of it. She's always like "I want you to be happy" but she obviously doesn't, because Boyfriend wants to marry me. He's obviously happy and secure in our relationship. Usually now I'd be flipping out, crying, getting crazy jealous...but I've gotten better with my whole jealousy bit. I'm starting to realize everyone is jealous of US. But that doesn't mean I want her bugging Boyfriend everyday about how she missed her chance. Too bad she only does it when she's single.

Anyway, my mind was running a mile a minute, and when I did nap for 10min, I had a dream about walking down Jefferson in Napa in front of Napa High with my sister driving BF's Mustang. Safe to say, not a very restful nap. So, when my alarm went off, I got up all groggy, realized I did't know where my sports bra was (which I have now found, it's on my coffee table), called the puppy up on the bed, and went back to sleep. Kinda.

Now I feel icky and fat, and that Mexican food last night didn't make me crap as much as I expected. I'm out of SlimFast, and birthcontrol as well. AND to top it all off, my customers have decided to be very open with their feelings to me. For example, one says he thought I was 28-30, and was genuinely suprised when I told him I was 19.

Best yesterday's definitely took the cake. Right out of my little fat girl hands. He asks me if I live anywhere near Wellington, which I told him I don't. And then he says "Oh, well we're opening a Curves up there, and you look like the type of girl who'd be interested."

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I was in shock that he even SAID that, becuase his wife sitting with him was easily three times my size with makeup chalk all over her fat ass face. Lemme tell you too, boy was not as fit as he could be. I politely declined, saying that, "No, I already go to Planet Fitness, and Curves never worked for anyone in my family, as it doesn't get your heart rate up at all. Besides, isn't the company going under?"

Ugh. So mad. I know I've lost all this weight, but apprently people still see the fat girl inside.

Thats it. I'm putting my gym clothes in the car, I'm going to somehow weasle my way out of work early, and go to the mother-effing gym. Look, I got myself all motivted and fired-up, right in front of your very eyes!

Ugh, but right now I have to seriously wash some dishes in the kitchen. I'm about to puke.

Hope everyone else is getting over their hurdles.

181.4

Sweet. Thats a completely accurate reading too. Didn't believe it, then got on the scale twice more to confirm it.

I've had ice cream 4 nights in a row. Me and boyfriend pretty much love it. But, other than my little ice creams, I've actually been eating really really well. SlimFast, salad, and then something good for me for dinner. And ice cream, haha.

Still no regular gym. I feel guilty leaving the puppy at home for any longer than I need to.

182.0

I think my scale was lying when it said 181 last time. Cuz it's been kinda wacky. Takes a couple times to get the same number. This morning it said (all within the same 2min period) I weighed 183, 180.4, and 182. It stuck at 182 the next couple times I tried it, soooo I went with that. Although the 180.4 would have been nice.

Oh well, 182 works for me. It's still 1.6lbs below what the last saved weight was.

Today my cardio has been cleaning the house. Hardcore spring cleaning. With getting ready to move, I need to get the house show ready, so people can come and go "oh, I want to live here! let me rent/buy it!"

Blah. Tired now. I totally had a specific reason to come on here and chat, and the above wasn't it. Ummmmmmmmmmm hmm.

I ate really well yesterday? SlimFast, huge salad for lunch, ice cream (it was small.) and a hot dog at the hockey game. Well within my caloric budget.

OH! I remember! "hockey game" spurred my memory.

PRETTY sure I need size 12s now. Those 14s I bought at Old Navy a couple weeks ago were straight up falling off my ass last night at the game. To walk ANYWHERE, I pretty much had to hold the back up to prevent mooning all the South Florida hockey fans.

Unfortunately, I don't have a bunch of money to go buy another jean skirt, or two more pairs of jeans...so I'm gonna just buy one pair at each size I hit, since I don't wear them for too too long.

Woo! 12!

Today so far I've had a SlimFast and a handful of sugar free Gummy Bears from Jelly Belly. Good god they're amazing. But my tummy just growled loud enough for the puppy to look up. Maybe I'll go into work a little earlier to grab a salad before I go on the floor. Boyfriend and I are going on another date night tonight, dinner and a movie. We'll probably end up going to our favorite Italian place, where I know I'll eat way too much, so I'll save up the calories. Maybe go without the chicken on my salad for lunch. Yesh, that sounds fine.

haha, for not knowing what I was talking about when I came into this post, I certainly wrote a whole lot.


PS. Hi Awshtin!

I worked out!

Yay! After a week of nothing, I worked out again. I walked the pup, ran half the lap of the lake with her, then went and biked and did the elliptical for like 45min.

I had a SlimFast for breakfast, a veggie salad with balsamic vinager (sp?) aaaaaaaaaand then I had a cheeseburger (the smallest one) at Fuddruckers and then a Coldstone creating (the smallest one)

I HAVE to get below 180 before the end of this month, or I think I WILL SlimFast myself into oblivion like dear Reno wants. (yeah, I read your post before I wrote mine. making sure I'm not the only one sucking.)

I gotta be at work at 830 tomorrow morning, soooo most likely NOT going in the morning. I'm gonna try to get off at 230 instead of 3 so I can go to the real gym before we go to the hockey game. Which might not happen, since Papa has to work all the time now, since one of his kids left them in a lurch. (papa = boyfriend, BTW)

OOh. Real World is getting dramatic. Totally not paying attention to writing this blog anymore.

Bottom line, I have 10days to get below 180, or else I go into crazy psyco weightloss mode. No particular reason, I just need the motivation.

Chicken Soup for Fat Asses

Time to break out my Chicken Soup for the Dieter's Soul. Everytime I'm discouraged or lazy, or just generally hard to motivate, I whip that puppy out to give me inspiration.

Speaking of puppy, she's the reason I haven't been to the gym. I don't want to leave her alone more than I have to, and since Sunday, Monday, Tues I work 9-4, I dont want to take the extra 2 hrs to drive up to the gym, work out, drive home, while she's stuck in the upstairs bathroom.

I think boyfriend has to stay later at work tonight, he didn't go in until like 8 today, instead of 6. So I'll come home, dust of my Bible of Slimness, take the puppy for a walk, and then have her hang out in the neighborhood gym with me while I sweat and work on feeling better.

Passing 180 is going to mean so much, because then I'll finally be under any weight I can remember in the past 5 years. While I have lost a whole lot in this venture so far, it's still like "oh yeah, I was that weight last year when I was depressed and semi-anorexic." Now I'm busting my ass, and calories are constantly on my mind trying to get below that.

My mom is opening a hard core pilates studio back home in Napa, and I'm really excited about it. It's pretty much a garanteed job for when I get back into town, and a fun new workout. True, my mom will be leading it, but I think we're past that.

Okay, time to walk puppy.

PS. Reno, stay motivated with me! We tend to slack together, and we're both hovering right above those big numbers. Lets kick some ass this week, okay? luv ya doll.

run dog, run!

Fun. We just took Al for her after-dinner walk, and the last quarter of our loop Papa and I started running with her. So much fun. Sure, I was in flip flops and loose jammies, but it felt really good to run with my Boyfriend and my doogie. Something I'd like to do more, little by little of course. Don't want to do anything to hurt pup.

181.2

Um, yeah. There's no explaining this, I'm not exactly sure whats going on. This was after having breakfast, before going potty, at my absolute fullest. AND I haven't been to the gym since Weds. But hey, I'll take it!

Ally Terrill

I dont know about her being a mix anymore. I know she's most definitely a Collie, and Boyfriend said that the pound people were saying she was mixed with something, but nothing on her papers says "mix".

Either way, she's the sweetest thing. A little underweight right now, but her appetite is comin back. Just gotta take her on lots of walks.

As for mama, those walks are the only exersice I've been getting since we've had her. True, it's only been a couple days, and it's been my "weekend" when I'm usually lazy, but still.

I don't know about the 160's anymore. I mean, I'll get there eventually, just a whole lot of stuff going on. I only have 5 wks before we move home, and I should really only lose about 10lbs in that time. I haven't weighed myself since I've had the puppy either, just eating more veggies and fruit.

Apparently, I can't go running with Al until she's 2 yrs old. It would mess up her hops and elbows and stuff to "go running" for long periods of time. Ah well. I've gotta teach her to fetch so I can run around atleast.

Hope all is well with everyone out there in our little weight loss community :)
Chels (and Ally.)

183.8

Well, that was yesterday. I haven't weighed myself this morning...

BECAUSE BOYFRIEND BROUGHT HOME A PUPPY!!!!!


Yay! Her name is Ally, she's 3mos old, and is a collie/beagle mix. Sweetest thing ever.


Oh, this fits right into my weightloss plan. Works with boyfriend, too. I take her for walks in the morning, and then after dinner we take her for a walk together...so she can poo and pee before bedtime, and so mama and papa can get their heartrates up a little bit.

She can't run with us yet...when we're walking, she insists on walking between my legs, or wrapping the leash around us ala 101 Dalmations.

Also, as you may have noticed, I'm back on track again. Under my previous lowest of 184.4, but it took a week and a half of yoyoing to 187 to get back under. It's okay. Atleast I'm not yoyoing with big numbers or anything.

Last night I went into my old restaurant to get some food, and everyone was amazed. I was wearing my black spandex capris from the Gap that have pretty much become my workout uniform, and a lame white Hanes tshirt, but everyone that knew me there was like "You lose weight? you look AWESOME"

Why yes I have. 17lbs.

Not even looking.

I need to get back on the diet and exercise hard core. I've gotta lose like 14lbs to get into the 160s by the time I get back to Napa in May, and I'm not gonna do it just goin to the gym a few times a week.

I know I love being with boyfriend when he's got a day off work, but I really need to go to the gym even when he's here. He won't come with me, which sucks, cuz then I would feel so much better if it was something we did together, make a competition out of it.

Oh, and apparently I'm not doing that 5k. Pretty sore subject.

Ah well, I'm off to work now, and the gym after that.

I need to buy more SlimFasts. Its when I run out that I get lazy, cuz I'm scrambling to find something for breakfast. Actually, I know Circle K has them....I better leave now then.

Love, peace, and NO chicken grease ;)

Chels

185.8

Sooooo I think I'm going to finally take advantage of my nerd-hotness, and be a sexy school girl for Halloween this year, since my body will actually fit the "sexy" part.

Also, I need to lay outside and tan, cuz the tanning bed is leaving weird tan lines. Like under my butt, and on the sides of my boobs. I tried flipping over onto my stomach, but I felt like a rotisserie chicken.

I've lost about 10 inches all over my body since January 19th. Nothing special about that day, except it was the day I went to the mall and Boyfriend wanted to buy me jeans, and nothing would fit. Remember?

Well yeah. About a inch and a half from my hips alone. Woo!

I think this extra weight is also cuz I did weights the other day, when I normally just do cardio. So adding some unexpected muscle boosted the number on the scale. But whatever, I feel great today.

Breakfast: cottage cheese cup, and 1 vine tomato
lunch: Salad with 3oz chicken, another half tomato, 1tbsp of rasberry vinagrette dressing (40cal) and a sprinkle of chz. Feeling very very full. Okay, I've also had a couple gummy candies, but I'm really craving a cookie or something.

Maybe I'll buy some lowcal cookies to have in the house. We'll see.

186.2

Poop.

I had a kinda crappy weekend, I got cocky after my 184.4 on Saturday morning, and then ate WAY too much food on Saturday. We're talkin' SlimFast, Sweet Tomatoes, Taco Bell, AND beer. Then Sunday I don't remember much except for my pot roast I made. I didn't go to the gym Sat-Mon, finally got back on Tuesday.

I'm kinda unmotivated right now. I need to eat so many more vegtables, and its just so hard, planning meals for two.

Ugh. I meant to post more, but I guess I didn't have too much to say.

I'm still going to try to get into the 160s by May.

For richer or poorer, for smaller or fatter.

So, boyfriend and I were talking last night, and I was like, "baby, look how little my wrist is!"

He goes, "I know honey, it's crazy," then he's quiet for a moment.

"I'm worried you're going to get all little and hot, and someone's gonna take you away from me."

Ahh, now it all makes sense. This is kinda related to the argument we were having the other night. Thing is, he's got nothin to worry about. Boyfriend and I met one another when were were at our heaviests...I was like 210/220 when we first started hooking up. He's my best friend. No matter what size I am, or what size he is, I know that there's true love there.

Thing is, even when I was heavier, much heavier, I was still super cocky, and still got plenty of attention from guys. Sure, there were the rude compliments with guys saying they like a "bigger gal"...ugh. Those are the worst. I just have always had a whole lot of confidence, and guys are attracted to it. Everytime I'm hit on, I come home and tell Boyfriend how demeaning they were.

Sure, as I lose weight, there's probably going to be more guys coming after me, since now society will consider me "hot", because I'll be a more attractive size. But no Brad Pitt is gonna steal me away from my man.

It kinda sucks, cuz he's been my biggest supporter in me losing weight, telling me not to eat a cookie cuz I don't really want it, giving me shit if I don't go to the gym. He's so proud of me, everyday when I tell him a lower number. But as much as he supports me like that, if he's gonna go around thinking just cuz I lose weight I'm going to leave him, it's not supportive at all. I don't want that distrust in my relationship, you know? I want to be hot for me, and for him. Not for anyone else. (I've told him all this, btw)

I'm losing weight to feel better about myself, to be healthy. NOT to catch a men's underwear model. I've been confident and sexy all along, just in a big girl's body. My boyfriend has been there all along, and he's the one for me. Just because my body changes, doesn't mean my heart will.

184.8

So, I didn't go to the gym all weekend...well, Saturday or Sunday. Does Friday coulnt as the weekend? Cuz I went on Friday. But not on Thursday.

Chances are, I'm not going to go tonight. Oh, why you may ask? Oh, I don't know, because my boyfriend's flight back was changed to Orlando, 2.5hrs away, and I found out at about 845pm.

Yeah. Oh and as if that wasn't fun enough! I took Boyfriend's car, since it's engine is more reliable than mine, and his fucking right front tire blew out. In the middle of Nowherefucksville.

So I changed the tire, which took like 30 minutes, and possibly a sprained wrist, and still ended up getting to the airport only about 20min after he flew in. Then the next 2.5hrs took forever, since we weren't talking, get home about 3am, argue a little bit, and then have makeup/welcomehome sex.

So now I'm fucking exhausted, and have to work a full shift today, and I feel like I've got the worst hangover ever. Probably from all that adrenaline that started pumping when the tire blew out.


UGhhhhhhhhhhh I dont wanna go. I dont have anymore SlimFasts either. Fuckyamother. This sucks.

184.4

Kinda crazy.

Anyway, I think it's time to start working some weights back into my routine. Maybe twice a week, after all my cardio, I'll do my usual stuff. Abs, legs, butt, arms.

I don't want to lose all this weight, and then have a ton of loose skin, you know? Gross.

I told Boyfriend my ass would be smaller by the time he got back. (he's gone this weekend til Sunday) He didn't believe me. He'll see :)

186.2

Almost 15 "ellbees" as a friend put it, and I can definitely feel the difference in my alcohol tolerance.

Best diet drink ever?

Absolut Pear Vodka and Diet Sprite. Zero Cal, amaaaazing taste.

186.6

Damn, I'm good.

I went to Old Navy today to buy a pair of jeans. I knew I would leave with a pair, even if they were size 16's. The bigger stores have all the sizes in stock.

Well!

Came home with TWO pairs of jeans, a jean skirt, and a few shirts just for fun, and they're all 14, slim fit, low waist.

And no muffin-topping or ass-cracking. They're not too tight at all, like where I'd normally say "Oh, I need to just break them in." I guess 5 lbs does make a difference, huh?

Luckily I got all of that for $140, so I didn't break the bank. I'll probably keep buying jeans from there until I decide I'm done losing weight. I'm losing it so fast, I don't want to spend $100 on one pair of jeans alone.

Ahh! I'm so close to 15lbs. This is ridiculous. I still kinda feel the same tho. Like when I look at my body, it's all the same shape, just smaller proportions. I can't wait to see a different silouette, and I think it's right around the corner :D

edit: After wearing my jeans to a hockey game, and not doing anything particularly active, I was pulling my NEW jeans up all night, because they kept falling down. Hah!

Trev cut off my head, but my body is bangin. All new clothes. Doesn't show my hot leopard heels tho :(

187.8

So, I lost a little bit in the last week. I went to the gym all the time, but my eating habits were pretty wack. We went to a bunch of events this weekend (hockey game, Blue Man Group, Justin Timberlake) and combined with working, I never really had a chance to eat properly. I didn't eat MUCH, but when I did, it wasn't very healthy.

So I took today off of work, and now I'm eating cottage cheese. (SlimFast is the only other thing I've had yet today.) I'm going down to a job fair to apply at Starbucks, and maybe Jamba. I don't know if I want to work for the same company as my boyfriend, but we'll see. Starbucks actually offered me a job this summer, but I had already moved back to Florida.

I'm just kinda over my job. The only rewarding thing about it is getting cash in my pocket every time a table gets up.

Anyway, I'm gonna go do that, and then go to the gym for a looong time. I've got plenty of aggression I need to get out (hello? I've been on my period for like two weeks.) Come home and deep deep clean my house, which will only burn more calories. I need to get past the 180s. Once I get down to the 170s, I'll actually feel like I'm losing weight, like Miss Reno said. This summer I was about 183 when I was on my carrots and peanut butter diet for two weeks. I honestly don't know when I was in the 170s.

Also, I'm moving home in May, and I want there to be a signifigant difference in my size. Like, people from high school will see me on the street, and be like, "Chelsea? No way! Florida was good to you!" (Which is has been, I suppose. Not good enough to stay.)

Sooooo I'm goin for 170 by May 1.

That's on 18lbs from here, and then I only have 20 more to lose to reach my birthday goal. We will seeeeee!

I'm bringin' sexy back.

188.2

Okay, so I have a confession to make:

I am the worst dieter EVER.

People try to tell me to eat chicken, tuna, and lettuce, and that's it. Or no steak. Or no carbs. Or no chocolate. You know the drill.

The thing is, I'm a fat kid who loves food at heart. Disallowing things from my plate only makes me want them more. Luckily, I love veggies, so that's not a problem.

But I also love Taco Bell, and stuffed-crust pizza, (both of which I've had in the past two nights.)

And yet, I'm still losing weight.

I basically eat with the idea that a calorie is just that. A calorie. Doesn't matter if it comes from cookies, or a can of peas, it's still going to sit in your body the same if you don't burn it off.

So I start off slow in the mornings, having a SlimFast(190cal) for breakfast. Sometimes at work I'll have a cookie (70 cal ea.) or a cup of chicken noodle, minus the noodles, so really just chicken and chicken broth(140cal), or I'll have two cookies and no chicken non-noodle, or cookies AND chicken non-noodle(lotsacal), or nothing at all. Depends on how I feel that day.

After my shift, I might have a salad, if I've been good and had nothing to eat. Or I might not.

I'll get home, and might have a 100cal pack of pudding, or 90cal of cottage cheese. Or maybe not.

And at dinner, I definitely fill up with veggies first, but then I'll still have my steak and potatoes.

See? I'm absolutely terrible about this whole regimented dieting thing. I can't stick to it. Basically, I eat little in the mornings, and save up for dinner, because thats when I get to have the good stuff.

If I was to do the whole 6 meals a day thing, I'd be eating all the time. I'd snack between snacks, or have snacks be meals. I'm a terrible muncher. So I can't follow a diet that encourages that sort of thing.

I don't suggest following my way, unless "my way" is just to eat how I feel, but not exceed between 1000-1200cal a day. And I only REALLY count daytime calories. If I'm done eating breakfast and lunch and I'm only at 400-500 cal, then I know whatever I have for dinner will fit in my calorie bracket.


Anyway. I just wanted to confess I had taco bell AND pizza in the past two days, and then justify it, haha.

Down a half a pound, off to the gym now.

188.6

Woohoo! Over that hump.

Actually, I pretty much torched the hump and then threw it into a river of bile.

Pretty huh? Those 190s are NOT coming back. No way.

my car is fixed!

Yay. So now I can go up to the gym again, and tan again...so excited. I'm also gonna buy a tape measure so I know my measurements for sure. That way it's not "oh, my pants are loose" but "I've lost 2 inches."

Yay.

190.4

So, yesterday boyfriend and I went to the mall, and he was determined to buy me new jeans. However, whereever I went, 14s weren't fitting. In the bad way. Delia's jeans were able to get up over my butt, but I had some severe muffin topping. Not gonna lie.

The last two weeks I've kinda fallen back onto the fat wagon. I've had car issues, and I don't want to drive all the way up to my gym. True, I'll drive to and from work, and 20 min back and forth to visit boyfriend at work, but something about getting on the highway for ten minutes to get to the gym freaks me out a bit.

So, I've been using equipment we've got in the neighborhood...bike, treadmill, and the elipitcal, but not everyday, and not nearly as hard as I did at Planet Fitness. It's a small room with a huge mirror, and no TV or other fellow soon-to-be-skinny people. I have't GAINED weight, but I lost 10lbs two weeks ago, and haven't moved. I think it's really mental to get over that half a pound to get to the 180's, but yesterday simultaneously discouraged and motivated me.

Ten pounds is so much! My jeans are falling off of me! And yet, new 14s don't fit. I've been pretty disillusioned. I got so comfortable losing 10lbs in a month, with only 40 more to go, I got super cocky. The fact is I want to lose MORE that 50lbs. I do NOT want to have to buy 16s. No frickin' way. Nope nope nope. I want to be out of 14s for life. I want to be able to walk into EVERY store, and not have the excuses.
"they're not stretchy"
"they're slim fit"
"they don't cater to bigger sizes."

I will not buy my clothes out of a catalouge, or at JCPenny's. I want all those X's and L's out of my wardrobe.

Luckily, I have an extremely supportive boyfriend. He was so sweet, demanding I find some cute clothes that I'll be happy to wear. He still wants me to find a new pair of jeans, since I wear my poor tired AEjeans pretty much every day. Wants me to find some flirty skirts, tops, shorts, capris...he tells me everyday how beautiful I am, and I can only see it sometimes. He never really buys me normal stuff; we usually do clothes shopping alone. But he was so determined to see me smile, he was happy to swipe his card yesterday. He made me realize how stupid I'm being about hating the size my jeans say. The fact is, I need new ones. There's no arguing it. He doesn't care what size I am, the scale says I've lost weight, he can tell I've lost weight, there's no denying it. So freaking out over a number is wasted energy.

I've been posting my lowest weights, not what they say everyday. Time for me to be completely completely honest with myself. It's not going to go down every single day. It SHOULD, but there's going to be some bad days.

So here's me restarting. Again. And maybe another trip to the mall here soon.

Much love and luck to Ms. Reno, Banana's Momma, and Sarah (hah, you don't have an internet alias, my love.) You guys keep me honest. Most of the time, haha.

NikeTown 5K

I'm going to run a 5k!

It's a NikeTown Run for Kids, and it's in Miami. All entrance fees go straight to local schools around here, for their PE programs. Pretty awesome, huh? Well Boyfriend's job allows him free entry into this. Soooo we're going to do it.

A few months ago, Boyfriend said he wanted to run a 5K by his birthday (in early April). We both used to run alot, short distances, but pretty much every day, and we've fallen off the wagon a bit. It's easy not to run when there's not 64 other people running around you. [Drum corps reference, sorry for the uninformed.]

Soooo I kinda suck at running tho. I have bad knees and I really can't get motivated to do it. So it should be interesting doing 3.1mi because I chose to. Also, running alongside Boyfriend, cuz he doesn't even want to go to the gym with me, so this should be fun.

From now on, on top of my 25min on the bike, and 30min on the eliptical, I'm going to add in running one mile, consecutively, until it gets easier and I can add more. No walking half of it, then running a half mile, nope. I've got a month to get in shape for this, and it's not like it's a marathon or anything.

In other related news, I'm back down to the weight I was before I got all sick and poopy.Well, I guess I wasn't too poopy, since none of that was happenin' for me. Anyway, 180's here I come.

baby got [less] back

Soooo ten pounds. What does that mean really?

Means a new pair of jeans for me soon, that's for sure. Take a look at these next two pictures. (Pardon, they're all of my ass.)


This was Christmas, after gorging myself on my family's food, and Boyfriend's family's even better food. Not one spare inch in those jeans.


This is from about, oh, ten minutes ago. Same pair of jeans, PLENTY of room. Seriously. Thisclose to a 12.

I'm not going anywhere near my scale for a WEEK.

Ah, I was so close, and then something has to happen. I got to 190, something I haven't been since this summer, and then I get the flu, and everything is all backed up, and there's extra poundage sitting on me that simply won't come out.

A friend said it's the lack of water and lack of exercise that's stopping me up, but whatever it is, it's frustrating. Just when I start to see some serious progress something has to happen.

I know it's only been a couple days, but I just feel so unmotivated. I worked out this morning, and was completely drenched in sweat, which was nice, but I get home, and I see a number I haven't in a while. I'm not counting it too seriously, because I am, quite literally, full of shit.

I'm heading over to the gym for a second go-around of the day. I'm the type of person that gets discouraged pretty easily. Luckily, my eating habits are still okay...had a huge salad at work today.

Tonights dinner: grilled sirloin, scalloped potatoes, and lots and lots of asparagus for me. I know the potatoes aren't THAT great for me, but it's all about portion control, and I've only had about 400calories total so far today.

Despite my personal plumbing issues, my shrinking body has encouraged other women at work to come work out with me. Looks like we're going to have quite the little group at Planet Fitness. I should find out about referal specials... Either way, they're keeping me going. I hardly see my boyfriend anymore, and when I do, it's dark and we're in bed. I can't wait for our Valentines/anniversary date so I can absolutely blow his mind with how incredible I look.

In other news, Anna Nicole Smith died today. As we all know, she was the TrimSpa spokes model. The creater of Atkins died a few years ago of congestive heart failure. Makes good ol' diet and exercise a bit more likeable than quick-fixes, eh? My HyrdoxyCut ran out, I don't think I'm going to replace it.

190.6

That is all :)

SuperBowl!!!

So, I've been really good recently. Today, after cleaning the house and work, I got on the scale all dressed for our football get-together. 192.nothing with jeans and everything. Prrrretty awesome, considering my stuff usually weighs 4-5lbs.

I didn't eat all day, to make up for the beer and other football food today. So I should be okay. Took my Hydroxycut today just for the extra help.

Happy football!

191.4

Why is it that when I feel yuckiest, I weigh my lowest? Ohswell!

Gym later this afternoon after work. Plenty of time to get done what I need without worrying about getting somewhere on time.

back on track.

I've been stalling since Friday...we went to Disney and I ate okay, but obviously didn't get to the gym. I worked out in our gym on Monday, did nothing yesterday (but work), and finally today I got back up to Planet Fitness.

I've refocused my exercise plan. Still doing 50min of cardio or more a day (at the gym, that is. Doesn't include all the running around at work, or any sex.) But I found this awesome Top Ten list to get an awesome booty. I love mine, it just could be downsized. As I told someone the other day, more J.Lo, less Jabba.

10 Best Booty Exercises

Also, I need to work on my arms. It was sad to take a bunch of cute pictures in Disney with the Boyfriend, only to see them later, and realize in one picture, my arm looks the size of his face. Not so hot. Again, my problem is how much muscle I have in there. I want to tone, not bulk. I haven't done any weight lifting in my arm area, because I really don't want them to get bigger. I'm doing all my cardio, and getting my heartrate up to burn fat all over, but it doesn't seem to be coming from there just yet. I found this website which shows a few tricep exercises, complete with pictures. I'll have to try to work some light weights in.

I'm sore today, and it feels amazing. I almost want to go to the gym for a second time today, but we'll see. I haven't hit that 190 mark yet, because of my laziness the past few days. But now I'm back again :)


Also, it's nice to see other's blogging about weight-loss. A little internet support group :)

RIP Sean Holton 1966-2007

A very good friend died today. While I wasn't his closest friend, he was always there to make me, and everyone else who knew him, smile.

A few weeks ago, he had gastric bypass surgery, in hopes of leading a healthier life.

Today he died, and when I first heard, I didn't know what to say. I was sad, but not crying. But after thinking about it more, I'm devastated. He was a man who never hurt anyone, supported the music community, was loved by anyone who ever crossed his path, and was trying to better himself.

The anonymous poster who suggested, "give it up fatty" will be sorely disappointed, as now I even have even more motivation to get myself healthy. Unfortunately, there's a point where the body gives up, and I'm never going to let it get to that point.

RIP Sean.
You'll always be loved and remembered.
♥

In response...

There's been some questioning of my actual weight, and where it might be coming from. Here's some background:

I've always been heavy, but I've always been well-proportioned. Even when I was my heaviest at 220, nothing was bigger than anything else. I definitely have a ghetto booty, haha, but it's not enormous. I've never had a gut either, like most fat girls get.


I've just always been active. Whether it was soccer, band, or drum corps, I might have been bigger, but I was always able to keep up with everyone. There's a whole lot of muscle on me.

So that explains it. Sorta, I guess. I'm not hiding some huge lower body with creative MySpace angles. I'm sitting here telling the world I'm 192lbs, for jeez.

Here's a picture of me this summer:


and finally, this Christmas, snowboarding in Tahoe, with extra layers of clothes on:


I'm definitely 192, but I definitely don't look it, which is why I'm not afraid to throw that number out there. I'm just the poster child for "thick" girls. Not fat, not jiggly, just thick. So if I look like this when the scale says I'm heavy, just imagine what it will be like when the scale says I'm normal. I'm definitely not giving up. I have an excellent support system, and incredible results so far. I'm actually enjoying myself.

192 point ZERO

Holy crap.

I don't feel like I've been eating the best the last few days, and I've been sporadic at the gym. Last night I made pot roast, and had a few cookies that day at work. Today I've had Special K, oranges and cottage cheese and a cup of chicken noodle soup at work.

Come home, feeling icky and fat and definitely not motivated to go to they gym at all.....get on the scale thinking, "if it's high, its the motivation I need to go the gym."

196.somethin with work clothes on.

192.nothin nakie.

Hollllly crap. I think I can definitely make it to 190 by the end of the week.

HOW many calories?

Okay, so normally on the eliptical at PF, I burn 350-380cal in 30 min...480-520cal in 40minutes (all on level 16/25)

I just did 30 minutes on the eliptical in the gym in the poolhouse at my complex, and it's a totally different machine. I did level 9 (out of 16)....and it said I burned 800 something calories.

Uhhhhh okay?


I mean, if so, sweet. But it kinda seems ridiculous to me.

193.4

Down a pound and a half!!! (That's -4.4lbs this week.) Came off a little slower than I hoped, because of that nut binge I mentioned in the last post, and I skipped a day at the gym yesterday because I worked an extra shift. I was just exhausted, and thought I shouldn't push it.

Trevor bought us a exercise ball, and it came with a little booklet of stuff to do. It's fun! So I'll fit some of that into my routine, probably at night just for some stretching and such.

My goal doesn't seem nearly as impossible anymore, as I'm getting closer to the 190 mark. I'll be stoked to be back in the 180's like I was all summer. But once I'm below that? Ooh boy. This girl's gonna be bangin'.

i'm going nuts.

No, really. My mom sent me a care package, and it had two bags of pistachios in it from Trader Joe's, and pistachios are my favorite. So, yesterday, all I ate was pistachios. Lots of them, not going to lie.

And then I go over to my friend's house, and we order Italian food, and I had pasta.

So today I feel bloated and dehydrated and just generally yucky. I haven't been doing this too long, but its amazing how non-healthy food really just makes you feel like crap. It was hard to wake up, I'm really exhausted today, etc etc.

I might be going to the South Florida Fair later, and that will definitely be a challenge. But I can't keep having cheat days, especially one right after another. Then I'll fall off, and all this weight I've worked so hard for will come right back on.

I did go to the gym yesterday, and as I was doing ab stuff, my right side stared hurting, right below my rib. I know I strained it about a week ago, and so I've been staying away from working that out, just to let it rest. But when I did side bends yesterday, it definitely wasn't better. I hope it's just a pulled muscle and not something more serious. My friend at work thought she pulled a muscle in her shoulder, and instead it was a popped rib! That would definitely not be fun.

I'm back into my normal eating habits today, which makes me feel better. Slim fast shake and a banana for breakfast. I'll have a big salad after work today...or maybe before work. And then come home and make veggies and chicken for dinner...and then go to the fair completely full and fed for the day so I'm not tempted by corndogs and funnel cake.

I need to get all that care package food out of my house. Or, atleast out of my bedroom, haha.

194.6

This is ridiculous. It's the middle of the day, I haven't pooped yet, and I haven't been to the gym since yesterday. I feel all bloated and crampy, and I got on the scale fully clothed just for laughs.

It said 197.2. Fully clothed. I was like, "are you kidding me?" No really, I said that out-loud, to nobody.

So I stripped down, jumped on, and I'm at 194.6. My scale said "-2.2" because it's amazing and digital like that.

That makes my weightloss since Sunday 3.2lbs. That's amazing for me. Now, I'm officially below the weight I was before Christmas. This weight coming off is all new, no more yoyo-ing.

I like this. :)

196.8!!!

Okay, so the post where I said 197lbs, it was really like 197.6.

So now I'm at 196.8, a pound away from my pre-Christmas weight. Once I get there, I'll feel better about losing the rest, since I won't be playing catch up.

I suck. I weigh myself everyday.

I did the stairmaster for the first time today, and it was ridiiiiculous. 10 mins, 37 floors, and more sweat than I've ever seen pour off my body. It was amazing.

eating out blues

Ugh, yesterday was hard. Neither of us wanted to cook, so we went to Friday's for dinner. Normally, I get whatever the heck I want to, and eat everything on my plate. Usually nothing fried or too fatty, cuz I'm not really into that. But, for instance, that last two times we've gone, I've had their Jack Daniel's roasted pork. Holy crap. So good. But, I'm not going to lose 50lbs eating that shit.

So, I looked at the menu a really really long time before I could come up with what I wanted. Unfortunately, I was already craving pork. I make excellent pork chops, and I suggested that to my boyfriend. So I kept flipping back to my roasted pork, since I know how good it is, and it was pretty much exactly what I wanted. I didn't eat much yesterday before dinner, and I was starving. Mahi mahi wasn't going to cut it for me.

Suddenly, I remembered something I read. Steak is okay. As long as it's not really fatty, like a nice sirloin. So I got that, with a double side of steamed broccoli (which took up half my plate. Bonus points for me.) But then, my boyfriend betrays me, and gets my roasted pork. So the whole meal, I have to eat my bland broccoli and only half of my steak (more bonus points for me) while his tender roasted pork, in a bed on mashed potatoes and broccoli and onion strings is sitting there tempting me.

I allowed myself one bite, just to taste it. No potatoes or delectably crispy onions on the bite, just all meat. And I tell you it was absolute heaven.

My problem with dieting or "eating better" is that boyfriend and I are such foodies. We love Top Chef, we've named ourselves Adopted Italians, we love going out to new restuarants and trying different things. Also, I've pretty much never deprived myself of any food I ever wanted. I had enough of that when I was young, so as soon as I was able to buy my own stuff, I got whatever whet my appetite. Which, is why I'm in this position I am now, writing a blog about trying to lose 50lbs.

Luckily, the restaurant I work in now has a 55ft salad bar. Of course, we also have soups and pastas and ice cream and muffins and baked potatoes and chilis...... which is why I gained 10lbs when I first started working there. But, if I stay away from that stuff, I'll be okay.So, to eat today, I've had a SlimFast shake, a banana, a small salad as a snack before we opened, and a big salad for lunch (boyfriend had a craving for our balsamic vinegrette). Not gonna lie, I came upstairs and searched my drawer for some Christmas candy. Luckily, either God or Boyfriend removed the leftovers (I know I had some left...) and I instead sat down and wrote this entry about how much eating right sucks.

I only lost one pound in the last week, which makes my total a whopping 3lbs since I started this. I know, I said I wouldn't care too much, since my diet has been wacky this week, but still... :( Don't they say you lose tons of weight right off the bat and then it plateaus? Don't worry. This only makes me want to make even better changes to my diet and exercise. I'm competing with myself here, and I always want to win. So, I'll suck it up, and whine here, and eat like a rabbit.

But I'll be a skinny little rabbit.

197

That is all :)

she's a maniac

Thats what I was thinking as I started my cardio regimine today. I did 20 min on the eliptical BACKWARDS, because 40min forward is way too easy at this point. So that equalled about a mile and a half. Then, I ran a mile and a half, non-stop. I started running again three days ago, and holy crap it was hard. The eliptical has been my only cardio since I started Planted Fitness in November, and now it's a breeze. So getting back onto the treadmill is very important. I jiggle way more on the treadmill tho, a bit higher impact than the gliding of the eliptical. But it's okay. Everytime my foot hits the floor and I shake a little, I think that it's helping my fat burn faster since it's getting a little extra movement, haha.

I have a friend at work who trained a Olymic weight lifter. He's kinda my trainer-from-afar. Since I'm just focusing on cardio (some light weights, mainly in my ab/hip area) I don't really need a personal trainer right there with me. But he's the one who told me to switch directions on the eliptical. He also wants me running 2.5miles a day, since I can do 2mi straight. But it just wasn't happening for me today...the backwards killed me.

Like I said, I started running again three days ago, and it's really been hard. I'm trying to figure out how best to diet, and the first two days of the workout change, it wasn't working for me. I had migranes all day at work, and I was cranky. When I got home, I ate way too much, and pretty much voided any calories burned earlier in the day.

Today, however, I feel much better. Trev brought home some bananas, and I had that as my breakfast. I'm about to have another and one of my Optima shakes. I'm keeping the calories pretty minimal right now because I know we're going to Chili's later tonight. I've also had a bottle of water with me where-ever I go, which is nice. When I'm hungry, I just have a big swig of water. My biggest issue is staying hydrated at work. Since we get so busy, I never really have a chance to drink anything, and when I do, it's a short sip and back to work. This isn't the manager's fault, they encourage us to drink whenever we can. It's just I don't want anyone to jump on my tables while I'm hydrating. I've got today and tomorrow off to figure out how I want to balance this dieting, and then on Sunday try it out at work. If I'm getting migranes again, I'll have to edit it again.

A friend recommended a good dieting cookbook called "Cooking Light." It has a ton of recipes, and each one has all the nutritional information at the bottom of the page. I knew my mom was sending me a cookbook to give to Trevor, and turns out that's the one. He made me meatloaf last night, but realized at the end of the meal that I'm going to eat whatever he makes me, so he should probably be making more nutritious meals. It's good for him too. He's not getting crazy like I am about weight loss, but he is concious about it as well.

Tomorrow's my big day, see how much a week did for me. I'll take whatever the number is with a grain of salt, since this week has kinda been figuring out what works best for me. I figure I need to lose 5-7lbs a month to reach my goal, and I don't think that's too hard to do.

Thanks again for everyone's support, and I'll talk to you tomorrow.

edit: tomorrow's saturday. Sunday is my day for checking in. My weekends are Friday/Saturday versus Saturday/Sunday, so I get all messed up :)

the dreaded scale

Obviously, unlike most women, I'm not afraid to say what my actual weight is. I've come to terms with the fact that it's higher than other girls my size, because of my muscle. So, I'm not afraid to put a scale on here. Over in the corner is a scale I manipulated in photoshop. Every week when I do my "official" weigh in ("official" because my daily or more-than-daily trips to the scale are only superficial) I'll let you guy know, of course, and then that little red dial will start moving left. Downward ho!

here fishy fishy

Dinner tonight was salmon and asparagus. (okay, and garlic bread). But the fact that I ate salmon, all on my own, is incredible. Not a huge fish person. We also bought some lean chicken to have in the house. I'm so lucky my boyfriend is so supportive of me losing weight and getting healthy...he even bought me personalized Nikes for Christmas! They're pink and black (he designed them) and they say Strongrl on them. That's a different story, but yeah. He's very good with keeping me on track. I'll need that when I'm starving, lol.

No weight measurement, I'm tryin to do it weekly.

198.0lbs

It felt like I ate SO much yesterday, but now in retrospect, I guess it wasn't all that much...

For breakfast:
1 SlimFast Optima shake - 180cal

For lunch:
We went to Sweet Tomatoes and I had a plate of salad (with just vinegar dress), half a cup of pea soup, some veggies and rice, and then of course a little bit of vanilla ice cream. I love that place, doesn't hurt that I work there, huh?

For dinner:
Another Optima shake, then probably a cup of leftover spagetti....then about three hours later I had a small bowl of cereal. I was up late.

Sooooo I guess that's not the massive amount of calories I figured it was. More of that "Six Small Meals A Day" thing, I guess. Or four. Whatever. I'm glad to see that even after my lame day at the gym yesterday, I'm still down two pounds!

Just 48 to go, hah.

oowie

So, this morning was kind of a bust...15min into my 40 on the eliptical, my ankle started hurting, a nasty sharp pain. Sooo I went and did some ab work, but kinda wasn't worth it. So we'll see how I feel later. I might just scoot over to the gym in my neighborhood and get my cardio finished.

new year, new me

Cheesy, huh? But it's true. This whole past year has been a transformation of myself, on the inside atleast, and I finally feel capable of taking on this weight loss that I've been half-heartedly attempting for the past couple years.

I went from a size 18 to a 14 (almost 12) during my 05 season with Cascades, and it was incredible. I've fluctuated to almost a 16, back to a 14, but really made no progress. Two months ago, I hit 200 after my boyfriend moved back home, and I was really happy. In November I signed up for Planet Fitness and proceeded in losing a mere 5lbs, but got back to my 14(almost 12) size. The free tanning didn't hurt in looking better. However, I went back home for Christmas and gained back those 5 lbs.

So, now I'm one of those lameos who say weight-loss is their New Year's resolution. However, mine is more of a lifetime resolution. I used to HATE going to the gym, and dieting, only because my mom forced it upon me. She's one of those fad-dieters who eats grapefruits and cabbage soup (even did a stint with the molasses and cayenne pepper diet). Either way, she's been a size 4-6 my whole life, while Junior year of high school, I was a big fat 20. Now I think my size was a rebellion of sorts, since I was mostly a good kid.

I've found, however, that I LOVE the gym now. Planet Fitness is everybody's gym, no overly oiled lugs grunting all over the place, or anorexic bitches puking off the side of their stationary bike. (which, I guess would make them bulemic bitches. either way. none of those.) There's no classes, but I never liked those anyway. Just cardio equipment and weights. Lovely.

Those elipical machines are the best. My favorite thing is the calorie counter, where it tells me how much I've burned during the work out. I used to do 30 minutes, and be stoked about burning 300 calories. Today, 40 minutes (with only ESPN on the TVs, makes the workout seem longer) and I broke my calorie record. A whopping 508 calories! In 40 minutes! I felt great.

Now, I just need to get my appetite in check. I bought those new Optima SlimFast shakes, which I'm particularly fond of. I tend to forget breakfast, and when it's time for lunch, I eat a salad AND chili AND macaroni and cheese AND steamed veggies. Then snack at home, and then boyfriend cooks me wonderful dinners that I always have seconds on. I have bought HydroxyCut, which I utilize lazily, but that's not a long term option. Kinda makes me jittery.

So, as it says above, I want to lose 50lbs by my birthday, September 28th. I'll be 20 then, a milestone into adulthood, as I will officially be out of my teens. I don't have any goals for my pants size, really, because it's hard to judge. I'm 200 at the moment, wearing a size 14. But I also used to weight 210 wearing a 20. So if I'm able to lose a quarter of my weight, and get down to 150, I'll be a very happy girl, no matter the size.

Please, check back for updates. I appreciate the support.