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I really have no motivation right now. I hurt my shoulder at work the other day, and I just don't want to do anything. Now, I know biking and running won't hurt it any, probably will loosen up the muscle, but meh.

I'm way stressing with this move coming up. I have to get this house sold or rented before I can leave, which involves quite a few little fix-ups. I have to save so much money so we can be set to go, for the movers and for our own trip across the country, AND to have a little money saved up so we can get into our own place ASAP.

Also, this stupid girl is telling my boyfriend she is going to wait for him. She had her chance for five years, and completely blew it. Sorry baby cakes, you effed up, and if you want to wait around, please, go right ahead. But you're going to be waiting until I leave this earth, because nothing else is going to break us apart.

Thats why I didn't go to the gym this morning. After Boyfriend left for work at 5:30, I said I'd sleep in until 7, get up, go to the gym. But, I didn't sleep thinking about this dumb girl. I want to email her, telling her to leave me and Boyfriend alone. Or, if she really wants to be friends again so bad, to be a real friend and quit trying to break us up. This will be attempt #2 since Christmas '05. I'm just sick of it. She's always like "I want you to be happy" but she obviously doesn't, because Boyfriend wants to marry me. He's obviously happy and secure in our relationship. Usually now I'd be flipping out, crying, getting crazy jealous...but I've gotten better with my whole jealousy bit. I'm starting to realize everyone is jealous of US. But that doesn't mean I want her bugging Boyfriend everyday about how she missed her chance. Too bad she only does it when she's single.

Anyway, my mind was running a mile a minute, and when I did nap for 10min, I had a dream about walking down Jefferson in Napa in front of Napa High with my sister driving BF's Mustang. Safe to say, not a very restful nap. So, when my alarm went off, I got up all groggy, realized I did't know where my sports bra was (which I have now found, it's on my coffee table), called the puppy up on the bed, and went back to sleep. Kinda.

Now I feel icky and fat, and that Mexican food last night didn't make me crap as much as I expected. I'm out of SlimFast, and birthcontrol as well. AND to top it all off, my customers have decided to be very open with their feelings to me. For example, one says he thought I was 28-30, and was genuinely suprised when I told him I was 19.

Best yesterday's definitely took the cake. Right out of my little fat girl hands. He asks me if I live anywhere near Wellington, which I told him I don't. And then he says "Oh, well we're opening a Curves up there, and you look like the type of girl who'd be interested."

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I was in shock that he even SAID that, becuase his wife sitting with him was easily three times my size with makeup chalk all over her fat ass face. Lemme tell you too, boy was not as fit as he could be. I politely declined, saying that, "No, I already go to Planet Fitness, and Curves never worked for anyone in my family, as it doesn't get your heart rate up at all. Besides, isn't the company going under?"

Ugh. So mad. I know I've lost all this weight, but apprently people still see the fat girl inside.

Thats it. I'm putting my gym clothes in the car, I'm going to somehow weasle my way out of work early, and go to the mother-effing gym. Look, I got myself all motivted and fired-up, right in front of your very eyes!

Ugh, but right now I have to seriously wash some dishes in the kitchen. I'm about to puke.

Hope everyone else is getting over their hurdles.