i'm going nuts.

No, really. My mom sent me a care package, and it had two bags of pistachios in it from Trader Joe's, and pistachios are my favorite. So, yesterday, all I ate was pistachios. Lots of them, not going to lie.

And then I go over to my friend's house, and we order Italian food, and I had pasta.

So today I feel bloated and dehydrated and just generally yucky. I haven't been doing this too long, but its amazing how non-healthy food really just makes you feel like crap. It was hard to wake up, I'm really exhausted today, etc etc.

I might be going to the South Florida Fair later, and that will definitely be a challenge. But I can't keep having cheat days, especially one right after another. Then I'll fall off, and all this weight I've worked so hard for will come right back on.

I did go to the gym yesterday, and as I was doing ab stuff, my right side stared hurting, right below my rib. I know I strained it about a week ago, and so I've been staying away from working that out, just to let it rest. But when I did side bends yesterday, it definitely wasn't better. I hope it's just a pulled muscle and not something more serious. My friend at work thought she pulled a muscle in her shoulder, and instead it was a popped rib! That would definitely not be fun.

I'm back into my normal eating habits today, which makes me feel better. Slim fast shake and a banana for breakfast. I'll have a big salad after work today...or maybe before work. And then come home and make veggies and chicken for dinner...and then go to the fair completely full and fed for the day so I'm not tempted by corndogs and funnel cake.

I need to get all that care package food out of my house. Or, atleast out of my bedroom, haha.

194.6

This is ridiculous. It's the middle of the day, I haven't pooped yet, and I haven't been to the gym since yesterday. I feel all bloated and crampy, and I got on the scale fully clothed just for laughs.

It said 197.2. Fully clothed. I was like, "are you kidding me?" No really, I said that out-loud, to nobody.

So I stripped down, jumped on, and I'm at 194.6. My scale said "-2.2" because it's amazing and digital like that.

That makes my weightloss since Sunday 3.2lbs. That's amazing for me. Now, I'm officially below the weight I was before Christmas. This weight coming off is all new, no more yoyo-ing.

I like this. :)

196.8!!!

Okay, so the post where I said 197lbs, it was really like 197.6.

So now I'm at 196.8, a pound away from my pre-Christmas weight. Once I get there, I'll feel better about losing the rest, since I won't be playing catch up.

I suck. I weigh myself everyday.

I did the stairmaster for the first time today, and it was ridiiiiculous. 10 mins, 37 floors, and more sweat than I've ever seen pour off my body. It was amazing.

eating out blues

Ugh, yesterday was hard. Neither of us wanted to cook, so we went to Friday's for dinner. Normally, I get whatever the heck I want to, and eat everything on my plate. Usually nothing fried or too fatty, cuz I'm not really into that. But, for instance, that last two times we've gone, I've had their Jack Daniel's roasted pork. Holy crap. So good. But, I'm not going to lose 50lbs eating that shit.

So, I looked at the menu a really really long time before I could come up with what I wanted. Unfortunately, I was already craving pork. I make excellent pork chops, and I suggested that to my boyfriend. So I kept flipping back to my roasted pork, since I know how good it is, and it was pretty much exactly what I wanted. I didn't eat much yesterday before dinner, and I was starving. Mahi mahi wasn't going to cut it for me.

Suddenly, I remembered something I read. Steak is okay. As long as it's not really fatty, like a nice sirloin. So I got that, with a double side of steamed broccoli (which took up half my plate. Bonus points for me.) But then, my boyfriend betrays me, and gets my roasted pork. So the whole meal, I have to eat my bland broccoli and only half of my steak (more bonus points for me) while his tender roasted pork, in a bed on mashed potatoes and broccoli and onion strings is sitting there tempting me.

I allowed myself one bite, just to taste it. No potatoes or delectably crispy onions on the bite, just all meat. And I tell you it was absolute heaven.

My problem with dieting or "eating better" is that boyfriend and I are such foodies. We love Top Chef, we've named ourselves Adopted Italians, we love going out to new restuarants and trying different things. Also, I've pretty much never deprived myself of any food I ever wanted. I had enough of that when I was young, so as soon as I was able to buy my own stuff, I got whatever whet my appetite. Which, is why I'm in this position I am now, writing a blog about trying to lose 50lbs.

Luckily, the restaurant I work in now has a 55ft salad bar. Of course, we also have soups and pastas and ice cream and muffins and baked potatoes and chilis...... which is why I gained 10lbs when I first started working there. But, if I stay away from that stuff, I'll be okay.So, to eat today, I've had a SlimFast shake, a banana, a small salad as a snack before we opened, and a big salad for lunch (boyfriend had a craving for our balsamic vinegrette). Not gonna lie, I came upstairs and searched my drawer for some Christmas candy. Luckily, either God or Boyfriend removed the leftovers (I know I had some left...) and I instead sat down and wrote this entry about how much eating right sucks.

I only lost one pound in the last week, which makes my total a whopping 3lbs since I started this. I know, I said I wouldn't care too much, since my diet has been wacky this week, but still... :( Don't they say you lose tons of weight right off the bat and then it plateaus? Don't worry. This only makes me want to make even better changes to my diet and exercise. I'm competing with myself here, and I always want to win. So, I'll suck it up, and whine here, and eat like a rabbit.

But I'll be a skinny little rabbit.

197

That is all :)