eating out blues

Ugh, yesterday was hard. Neither of us wanted to cook, so we went to Friday's for dinner. Normally, I get whatever the heck I want to, and eat everything on my plate. Usually nothing fried or too fatty, cuz I'm not really into that. But, for instance, that last two times we've gone, I've had their Jack Daniel's roasted pork. Holy crap. So good. But, I'm not going to lose 50lbs eating that shit.

So, I looked at the menu a really really long time before I could come up with what I wanted. Unfortunately, I was already craving pork. I make excellent pork chops, and I suggested that to my boyfriend. So I kept flipping back to my roasted pork, since I know how good it is, and it was pretty much exactly what I wanted. I didn't eat much yesterday before dinner, and I was starving. Mahi mahi wasn't going to cut it for me.

Suddenly, I remembered something I read. Steak is okay. As long as it's not really fatty, like a nice sirloin. So I got that, with a double side of steamed broccoli (which took up half my plate. Bonus points for me.) But then, my boyfriend betrays me, and gets my roasted pork. So the whole meal, I have to eat my bland broccoli and only half of my steak (more bonus points for me) while his tender roasted pork, in a bed on mashed potatoes and broccoli and onion strings is sitting there tempting me.

I allowed myself one bite, just to taste it. No potatoes or delectably crispy onions on the bite, just all meat. And I tell you it was absolute heaven.

My problem with dieting or "eating better" is that boyfriend and I are such foodies. We love Top Chef, we've named ourselves Adopted Italians, we love going out to new restuarants and trying different things. Also, I've pretty much never deprived myself of any food I ever wanted. I had enough of that when I was young, so as soon as I was able to buy my own stuff, I got whatever whet my appetite. Which, is why I'm in this position I am now, writing a blog about trying to lose 50lbs.

Luckily, the restaurant I work in now has a 55ft salad bar. Of course, we also have soups and pastas and ice cream and muffins and baked potatoes and chilis...... which is why I gained 10lbs when I first started working there. But, if I stay away from that stuff, I'll be okay.So, to eat today, I've had a SlimFast shake, a banana, a small salad as a snack before we opened, and a big salad for lunch (boyfriend had a craving for our balsamic vinegrette). Not gonna lie, I came upstairs and searched my drawer for some Christmas candy. Luckily, either God or Boyfriend removed the leftovers (I know I had some left...) and I instead sat down and wrote this entry about how much eating right sucks.

I only lost one pound in the last week, which makes my total a whopping 3lbs since I started this. I know, I said I wouldn't care too much, since my diet has been wacky this week, but still... :( Don't they say you lose tons of weight right off the bat and then it plateaus? Don't worry. This only makes me want to make even better changes to my diet and exercise. I'm competing with myself here, and I always want to win. So, I'll suck it up, and whine here, and eat like a rabbit.

But I'll be a skinny little rabbit.