So, boyfriend and I were talking last night, and I was like, "baby, look how little my wrist is!"
He goes, "I know honey, it's crazy," then he's quiet for a moment.
"I'm worried you're going to get all little and hot, and someone's gonna take you away from me."
Ahh, now it all makes sense. This is kinda related to the argument we were having the other night. Thing is, he's got nothin to worry about. Boyfriend and I met one another when were were at our heaviests...I was like 210/220 when we first started hooking up. He's my best friend. No matter what size I am, or what size he is, I know that there's true love there.
Thing is, even when I was heavier, much heavier, I was still super cocky, and still got plenty of attention from guys. Sure, there were the rude compliments with guys saying they like a "bigger gal"...ugh. Those are the worst. I just have always had a whole lot of confidence, and guys are attracted to it. Everytime I'm hit on, I come home and tell Boyfriend how demeaning they were.
Sure, as I lose weight, there's probably going to be more guys coming after me, since now society will consider me "hot", because I'll be a more attractive size. But no Brad Pitt is gonna steal me away from my man.
It kinda sucks, cuz he's been my biggest supporter in me losing weight, telling me not to eat a cookie cuz I don't really want it, giving me shit if I don't go to the gym. He's so proud of me, everyday when I tell him a lower number. But as much as he supports me like that, if he's gonna go around thinking just cuz I lose weight I'm going to leave him, it's not supportive at all. I don't want that distrust in my relationship, you know? I want to be hot for me, and for him. Not for anyone else. (I've told him all this, btw)
I'm losing weight to feel better about myself, to be healthy. NOT to catch a men's underwear model. I've been confident and sexy all along, just in a big girl's body. My boyfriend has been there all along, and he's the one for me. Just because my body changes, doesn't mean my heart will.