new year, new me

Cheesy, huh? But it's true. This whole past year has been a transformation of myself, on the inside atleast, and I finally feel capable of taking on this weight loss that I've been half-heartedly attempting for the past couple years.

I went from a size 18 to a 14 (almost 12) during my 05 season with Cascades, and it was incredible. I've fluctuated to almost a 16, back to a 14, but really made no progress. Two months ago, I hit 200 after my boyfriend moved back home, and I was really happy. In November I signed up for Planet Fitness and proceeded in losing a mere 5lbs, but got back to my 14(almost 12) size. The free tanning didn't hurt in looking better. However, I went back home for Christmas and gained back those 5 lbs.

So, now I'm one of those lameos who say weight-loss is their New Year's resolution. However, mine is more of a lifetime resolution. I used to HATE going to the gym, and dieting, only because my mom forced it upon me. She's one of those fad-dieters who eats grapefruits and cabbage soup (even did a stint with the molasses and cayenne pepper diet). Either way, she's been a size 4-6 my whole life, while Junior year of high school, I was a big fat 20. Now I think my size was a rebellion of sorts, since I was mostly a good kid.

I've found, however, that I LOVE the gym now. Planet Fitness is everybody's gym, no overly oiled lugs grunting all over the place, or anorexic bitches puking off the side of their stationary bike. (which, I guess would make them bulemic bitches. either way. none of those.) There's no classes, but I never liked those anyway. Just cardio equipment and weights. Lovely.

Those elipical machines are the best. My favorite thing is the calorie counter, where it tells me how much I've burned during the work out. I used to do 30 minutes, and be stoked about burning 300 calories. Today, 40 minutes (with only ESPN on the TVs, makes the workout seem longer) and I broke my calorie record. A whopping 508 calories! In 40 minutes! I felt great.

Now, I just need to get my appetite in check. I bought those new Optima SlimFast shakes, which I'm particularly fond of. I tend to forget breakfast, and when it's time for lunch, I eat a salad AND chili AND macaroni and cheese AND steamed veggies. Then snack at home, and then boyfriend cooks me wonderful dinners that I always have seconds on. I have bought HydroxyCut, which I utilize lazily, but that's not a long term option. Kinda makes me jittery.

So, as it says above, I want to lose 50lbs by my birthday, September 28th. I'll be 20 then, a milestone into adulthood, as I will officially be out of my teens. I don't have any goals for my pants size, really, because it's hard to judge. I'm 200 at the moment, wearing a size 14. But I also used to weight 210 wearing a 20. So if I'm able to lose a quarter of my weight, and get down to 150, I'll be a very happy girl, no matter the size.

Please, check back for updates. I appreciate the support.