Fresh Start

Literally, 'fresh' as in 'not prepackaged'. Delaney and I braved the torrential downpours and went to Walmart to cure my boredom and empty-fridge syndrome.

We only walked thru the perimiter of the grocery section, picking up bulk and healthy items to make quick and tasty meals:

snack-pack cottage cheese
reduced fat cheddar cheese
Individually frozen chicken breasts, tilapia, and salmon
Cuties tangerines
romaine lettuce
baby spinach leaves
bananas
lean ground beef
baby carrots

Now I have a big pot of couscous on the stove to refrigerate and use for future dinners, saving me time away from baby. I'm going to portion out the ground beef too, and use it mostly for this lentil chili I got from Costco. I feel so much better with these healthy items to pull from, more in control.

Now, if baby would just fall asleep and let me clean the kitchen the feeling would be complete. :)

Epiphany De-ja-vu

Watch out, I'm a triple threat. I eat for fuel, I eat with emotions, and I eat when I'm bored. No wonder this has been a life long struggle for me. I know this, I've learned this and conquered these downfalls, but I've relapsed.

I mentioned in the last post that Trevor is gone for two weeks, and I had manageable goals to get into a routine while he's away. I started out with promise: I walked a brisk 2mi with baby in her front-pack, AND ate a ton of veggies on the first day. I was at my mom's house, and she makes health fun for me (versus when I was a teen, and I seemingly rebelled from her skinny mini lifestyle).

The next morning on the drive home, all that ruffage went right thru me. However, in my few hours at home alone with the baby and the animals, I ate the remaining snacks in the house to fill the lonliness. Ironic, I realized, as I was only home to feed the cats their daily dry boring kibble. I realize when feeding them, the dog, or the baby: they only eat when they're hungry.

This as my mantra, I head back up to moms place to spend the night again and avoid my empty house (funny how large a void one member of the family leaves). I do well the rest of the day, and this morning, having hot tea or water when feeling snacky. But, home again this afternoon, and I fall right back into it. I've done light picking up, but mostly have spent the day on the couch with the baby. I get up to look at my empty fridge, and it makes me hungry. So I have a string cheese and a cup noodles, and a FiberOne bar, and a weight watchers frozen meal (after seriously considering ordering something in.) I really wanted the remaining Ben and Jerry in the freezer, so went upstairs and weighed myself and decided against it. Strong, right?

Then the baby is nursing and tv is boring and Trevor hasn't called. So I called him until I woke him up, felt like a lonely needy jerk, and went and grabbed that damn ice cream, and washed it down with Diet Coke. Recently (prebaby) when upset, I would clean to distract myself, or make some crafty goodness. But with the baby attached to my boob, my only way to deal with my emotions is food. The crap I'm eating isn't good for me, and makes the baby gassy and cranky, further exaborating my overwhelming feeling of lonliness.

I've cleaned out the kitchen of crap, made a grocery list full of crunchy veggies, and have now publicly announced my secret failures. At this point, I don't think I could get any worse, so I'm looking forward to tomorrow, and the changes I know I can make.

Goal setting

It's time to set some goals. Obtainable "check off the list" goals. This is a first for me! I do it when I need to tackle the housework, or get a project done, but I've never done it for my weight loss.

Right now, at 223, I've lost 25lbs since having my baby, and the weight has stopped magically falling off. Apparently I need to do more than breastfeed while watching Biggest Loser! The amount of weight I need to lose is pretty signifigantly, and overwhelming. Days tick by without any trackable process, because I don't know where to start. Luckily, I have some milestones in the next 12 months:

March 28 - SCV Birthday Dinner
July 1 - InLaws' Wedding
August 17 - 5yr anniversary
Sept 28 - Turn 23
Dec 23 - Baby's 1st birthday

Based on 2lbs a week, I should be able to lose close to 100
lbs by the baby's birthday. However, forseeing plateaus, and the fact that i'd be ridiculously small at 120lbs, I'm aiming for 80. Only 1lb a week for the last 3mo:

March 28 - 20lbs
July 1- 48lbs
Aug 17 - 62lbs
Sept 28 - 72lbs
Dec 23 - 85lbs

How am I going to do this? Well, since I am breastfeeding, I can't 'diet' persay. And, without doctor clearance yet, I can't do anything too stressful. Baby steps :)

Currently, Trevor is away on business for 2 wks, and everything is up to me. So, on top of mommy duties, and wifey chores, I'll also be doing the papa jobs: lugging the carrier around, lifting the stroller into the car, carrying baby 100% of the time. These things alone should burn a few hundred extra calories a day. On top of this, I'm going to get in a walking/Pilates schedule. This way, I'll have a set routine when he gets home, and I'll be less likely to make excuses.

To start, I will nurse baby when we first wake up, then load her up into the stroller and take her and AllieDog for a 20min walk. Then, I will do Pilates with my mom 2x a week. Luckily, since she owns the place, I can work out on baby's schedule, and come in when mom's not teaching a full class.

It's ambitious, surely. But, it is doable, as long as I put my mind to it. I find myself avoiding pictures with the baby, since I'm not happy with how I look. I can't let my vanity rob us of anymore memories.

New Beginnings

Well, I can no longer be considered a "kid", as in a matter of days I will have one of my own. This blog was integral to my weight loss a few years ago, and so it's only fitting that I return to it as I tackle post-baby weight.

I found a gym that reminds me of Planet Fitness, I have a Pilates Studio owner for a mom, and a jogging stroller from FreeCycle heading my way.

There is no better time for me to get healthy, for life. I don't have drum corps anymore to make me lose 30lbs over a 3mo period, and a winter to gain it back. I have a baby girl ready to enter into the world, who is going to be subject to all the thin-centric media in the world. She doesn't need to be skinny, she doesn't have to be fat, I just want her to look to her mom and know I've always been comfortable and healthy in my own skin - regardless of what my tags or scales say.

That's really what it's all about, giving her a prime example of a confident woman - someONE she can aspire to BE like, not someTHING to LOOK like.

As of today, November 27th, 2009, 37.5wks into my pregnancy - I weigh 239.8lbs. I've gained 40lbs during the pregnancy, but 30lbs previous to that from August 08 to April 09 after I came back from the summer.

By November 27th, 2010, I'd like to weigh 150lbs. This is still the "top" of my healthy weight/BMI range for my height, but it will be tiny for me. And that is the weight I'd like to stick to, something obtainable, but not ridiculously skinny, something I can maintain for a long time.

I'll be back soon! In the meantime, feel free to catch up on my nesting obsession. Adorning Alabama

Okay, so I guess it's time to update this blog, or drop it.

Cuz, well, there's that whole pregnancy-weight gain, thing.

Yeah! I'm pregnant! Trevor and I are having a baby!! Oh my goodness, I'm so stupid excited about it.

But. Right now, we're not talking about baby, really. We're talking about what my fat ass has done in the past two weeks since finding out. One guess...it starts with E, and rhymes with "feet".

I don't know what my deal is! I KNOW I'm not "eating for two", you're only supposed to eat about 300 more calories than normal. Hello, it's a BABY in there, not a full grown adult. But yeah. Since I found out, and then entered my 6th and 7th week, my appetite is all wacked. The first week, I didn't care, because we were stressed. The second (read, sixth) week started out bad with a trip to the A's game, and plenty of crap food. Since then my tummy can't decide if it's full or starving, a really really weird phenomenon. Add the nausea on to it, and you'd think I wouldn't even want to look at food!

But no. No, all I want is comfort, carb-y, fatty goodness. Our meals the past week? Monday, Beef Stroganoff. Tuesday, Taco Night. Wednesday, Left Over Beef Stroganoff. Thursday, Cheese Burgers. Friday, Hawaiian Pizza. And thats just DINNER. Nevermind the crap they've been bringing me at work since they found out. Breakfast sandwiches, food from the catering service down the street, taco truck, bear claws... seriously! It's ridiculous.

So, needless to say, I'm back up in the 190s. Below 195, but depending on how recently I've gone to the bathroom, that statement could be false. I HAVE gone to the gym 4 times in the last two weeks, which is not bad given my track record the last...6 months? I went again today, and felt great. Thats the thing, I feel AMAZING at, and after, the gym. But, it's the getting to it that's my problem. Morning sickness, and a cuddly baby daddy make it rally hard to go before work, and after work I'm exhausted from my caffeine withdrawal.

But I just need to do it. Two reasons:

A. (for annoying) I never want anyone to think "is she pregnant? or is she just fat." Yeah. Not into that.
B. (for baby) I need to be a healthy vessel for this tiny blueberry-sized blob with webbed hands and feet. (Yeah weekly baby-formation updates) Drum corps has always been a reason, vanity has always been a reason, but NEVER have I had any driving force to fix my health, more important than this one. I'm tired, ALL the time, and it has to do with my diet and exercise. Having a baby, and raising a baby is exhausting as it is, I can't be sleepy mama, I have to be up and alert and healthy to ENJOY being the young mom that I am.

So, today after babysitting (go fig.) I went to the gym. I almost didn't go, but I was on the phone with my mom, and I couldn't exactly bail with that kind of witness. And it was good. (then I came home and ate leftover pizza. I had a good food day otherwise, don't judge.) And tonight, I feel a million times better than I have the last few days, not over stuffed, I can handle the nausea...if anything I'm a little dehydrated, but I have a bottle of water downstairs thats calling my name.

So that's what's up. I won't change the page tonight, it's 10:15, I'm tired and the animals need their dinner. But I guess I can, and this can show my progress for the next 5-6 months until I get too big to work out.

Back to counting calories

Well. I went on vacation, and 2 out of those 4 lbs came back.

As of today, I have exactly ONE month before the wedding. If that's not crush time (heh, get it?) I don't know what is. I'm on a 1200 calorie/day diet, and to keep as active as possible. Tonight is my first time home before midnight in a week, so there's lots of cleaning and organizing to do, which definitely burns some you-know-what. Also, the dog is digging up my garden, soooo I should go out there and fix that. But it's dark and rainy, and the Sharks game is on.

I need to get super anal about this whole weightloss thing. I don't know how I did it two years ago, it was so easy!

Tomorrow I'll start running, 30min around the blocks (once it's light out, of course)

Out if nowhere...

I lost 4 lbs int he past week. The gym just isn't happening for me at the moment, so I had to make another change.

I started eating breakfast.

I know! Crazy, right? But it keeps me full throughout the day, and then when dinner comes, I'm not starving like usual. (which means plenty of leftovers for lunch the next day, which saves money AND calories. I'm genius, I know.)

So, for the past two weeks, I've been eating organic applesauce (no sugar, just shmooshed apples) w/ an ounce of Mona Vie (that acai berry stuff), and peanut butter toast. Peanut butter, like the applesauce, just shmooshed peanuts and salt.) And four pounds! Gone!

Now I'm down to 187, which, while it's only 1lbs less than my last numbered update, it's 4lbs less than last week. I just need to keep staying under 190, and the pounds will keep going down. It's like, when I've over 190, I just don't care. I'm depressed, feel ugly, don't take care of me, eat cookies cuz it's like what worse can I do to myself? Bottom line, VERY bad place for me to be mentally. So, I'll just stay under 190. Beautiful.

Today I spent the whole morning gardening. Like, serious gardening...digging up rock and grass, tilling my garden area with only a shovel, planting...I got a nice tan line, and burned a ton of calories, I'm sure. And, I LOVED it. It's so gorgeous this weekend, I just need constructive things to occupy my time.

I want to nap, but I think I'll be happier if I just go clean up the kitchen instead.

making progress

I've been eating so much better this week, it's disgusting. I do love my Eating Right/Lean Cuisine/Smart Ones meals. I know they're technically "processed food", but if I feel satisfied w/ half the calories of a regular meal, crap, I'm going to do it. I'll get organic another day.

So, I've dropped two pounds, down to 188 which is killer. I went o the gym 3 times last week, but I haven't been since Tuesday. Work has been ridiculous. But you know what? I've been doing house work, sweeping, dishes, couch reupholstering, and man, being a house wife makes me break a sweat!

I need to be careful tho, my boss even said to me yesterday "you gotta stop burning the candle at both ends, girl" and it's so true. But, I love my life!

The only thing is, since I've gained this weight, my sex drive has dropped off, and boyfriend is feeling it. Anyone who knows me KNOWS this is not normal for me. In high school, I was the fat girl, BUT I was also the only one of my friends getting action, because I was so confident, regardless. I need to get back to that.


-C

Kickboxing and pizza.

OKay, so I went to the gym last night. Thats three times in three weeks! Ugh. Better than the 2mo sabbatical I took during the holidays, right?

I really wanted to do this kickboxing class, but I got there early so I went on the bike for about 15min just to kinda warm things up. Got in the class, there's no punching bags or anything (lame). But, it is a cardio kickboxing, so what the hell.

Holy jesus, I only made it through like 20 min for the 60 min class. My feet were cramping up like NO OTHER, and I wanted to die. I was sweating (melting to the floor). I liked it, it was fun, and I felt like a strong, powerful woman...until I looked at myself in the mirror. The instructor was screaming "kick off that shake!" which really makes no sense to me, since anyone in their right ind knows that the fat isn't going to disappear from working a certain area.

I mean, okay, I liked it. But I don't know what was going on. They're newer shoes, they've been broken in, but I dunno. Maybe I need to run or jog around the building first. I punished myself for sitting in the sauna for like 20 min.

Then I came home and had a big plate of broccoli, followed by three slices of pizza. Nice.

This whole one-day a week thing at the gym is obviously not working for me. Duh. So I'm going to try and go tonight after work. No no no, I AM going to go tonight after work. "Never try, just do" type deal, right?

Two months?

Okay, so I just realized my best friend's wedding is in two months. It literally was like "Okay, March to April, April to Mayyyyywwwhat???."

I thought I had forever for this!

I haven't been very good, I forgot my integral rule that I followed two years ago: half of every plate needs to be vegetables. I just am having such a hard time finding motivation to wake up, and work out, and eat right, blah blah blah. I mean, my life has been in transition the past few weeks with this move, but can't I just shut up and do it?

This weekend I worked really hard reframing my couch, to prepare it for re-covering, and I got a nice upper-body workout w/ all the sawing and hammering, but I haven't done shit since. It's Tuesday, and I've been sitting on my ass at a trade show all day. I was good at the lunch, half of my plate was a spinach salad w/ beets, and the other half was a couple pieces of chicken breast, but I HAVE to go to the gym in the morning.

I'm not going to be a fat cow at this wedding, I want my boyfriend to see me up there and envision us on OUR wedding day, and I want to be a bride happy with herself, not one wondering "what if I weighed 20lbs less".

Sick of Myself

Okay, so I'm back. This last week has been crazy with the move, and then I got really sick. Who would have thought I'd catch the flu when moving heavy furniture in torrential downpours? Go fig.

Anyway, I'm back. Amanda, sorry I've been slacking.

My new house has a full length mirror, and I can't TELL you how long it's been since I've see all of me in one "shot" if you will. Truth is, I don't look as terrible as I thought. That's motivation number one. I'm not a disgusting pig, I'm still curvy in the right places, and not a huge blob of fat. But, I still weigh 190, which is "obese" according to those charts. Ridic, since I don't look "obese" but whatev.That number is way too high for me, personally. I'd be stoked to be back at 164, my weight post-tour. I was still curvalicious me, but much healthier.

Gym tonight after work, and I have to be serious about it. I went last week, and I got a "welcome back!" that made me want to shoot myself, because I know they can tell exactly how long it had been since I was in. I mean, jeezy creezy, it's a free membership, I might as well use it.

After this one is done tho, I'm thinking I'm going to go to the gym a block from my house, it'll be easier, and I bet they're cheaper. I should look into that. I really want to do a kickboxing class too. That would be pretty effing sweet.

My BIGGEST problem is my self-control w/ food. In the mornings, and at work, I'm pretty good. It's when I get home that I suck. Last night was better, but like when I'm alone, and my mom brings me all my favorite snacks from when I was a kid, I just devour them, like I did when I was a kid. Worst one? French's French Fried Onions. You know, the stuff that goes on top of green bean casserole. The other night I ate a can of them. Bleh.

My whole office is getting in shape, one is on Weight Watchers, the other one wants to run more (used to be a long distance runner) and the third is getting back into the gym. They're the people I deal with more, and it's HUGE motivation. We need to all look hot, hah. I can't be the cute young thing if I look disgusting.

Bottom line, it's time. Again.

Fancy pants.

Okay, well now it's Monday after my Saturday night breakdown, and I think I'm going to be just fine. Sunday, Trev and I went to Ihop, and I was craving hashbrowns like crazy...but, I abstained, and got the healthy omelette with fruit...a couple hours later, I realized it wasn't the end of the world, I wasn't still craving the potato goodness.

Then, at dinner we went to Applebees (I know, eating out two times in one day, but we were running around all day) and I got the salmon, which was pretty amazing.

I didn't work out yet, it was raining this morning, and TJ was leaving for a week. But, tomorrow morning, I'm either running at the park, or at the gym.

I dressed really nice today, and I feel pretty. I think I need to keep looking good, clothes wise, so I feel good about myself, no matter what size. Only problem is, that involves heels, and I think my feet might fall off. We'll see.

What the hell?

Here I am, two years after doing this whole weight loss thing, 5 months after being down to 164 (summer of drum corps) and I'm at 194 again.

And, the worst part? after I weighed myself, I went and ate three slices of cold pizza, plus some hot chocolate.

What am I doing to myself? The rest of my life is going so, so well. My relationship is great, my job is great, and we're getting ready to start a new life together in a new house. So why am I sabotaging myself?

Ugh, I feel disgusting. I'm not happy with how I look, how I feel in the morning... and right now, after the healthy dinner of chicken and green beans, plus those 3 cold slices, and the hot chocolate, I don't feel "full."

Yeah, that's right, I feel disgusting, but not full. I know I could eat the other two pieces of pizza left, and not throw up. At least, not involuntarily throw u

I need to make a change in my life, right now. I've been saying this since Jan 1, but I just, well, haven't.

This next week, I have to pack, and I have to work out. Those are my only priorities. Trevor is going to be gone all week, so I have no excuse to laze around in bed. I'll wake up early to work out, and pack into the night. No big, I can do it. Sure, AllieDog is going to suffer a bit, but if I take her over to the park while I run, she might be happier.

This is it, this is totally it. I need to figure out how not to do this anymore. How to maintain a healthy weight for me, without constantly feeling like I'm depriving myself, so that it's easy for me.

New house, new lifestyle, new me.

Again.

Seriously? I'm over this whole "fat" thing.

Okay, so I just don't get it. I'm running, I'm eating well...and yet, I'm still gaining weight? I mean, it's been 15lbs in 3mo, this is ridiculous. It's back to Slimfast breakfasts and Lean Cuisine lunches, with Hydroxycut before every meal.

Oh, and does anybody know of a birth control that DOESN'T make me gain weight? Jesus. I'm currently on Levelen, but the generic brand.

BTW, my goal weight is 155. I wanna get there before move-in.

Okay, can I just say this please?

KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF THE BABIES.

Stop degrading the music education profession, and leave children under 18, or any students, ALONE.

There's been way too many of these happening, and FAR too many who I've known, or been close to.

That's it.

Pukey.

Ugh. I think I got the motivation I need to change my diet. This weekend we made pot-roast, a pretty common winter dinner for us, and the next morning I woke up puking. I don't know if it's from the pot roast, or all the sodium I had that day, or whatever...but I know the next morning when I looked at the leftovers I had saved for myself in the fridge, they just looked grey and disgusting.

So, I had toast and eggs for breakfast, chicken noodle soup for lunch, and then Trev made Montery Chicken for Dinner. We had two breasts for each of us, but I was a good little girl and separated half my dinner onto a plate for me to have tomorrow night when Trev is at hockey.

I'm still feeling icky today, and no, I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant, thank you.

I felt good enough to walk through Target this morning after Espanol, and jeez. I need clothes. I effing LOVE winter clothes. The jackets, the lace, the layering...and I'm at a normal enough size so that I'd actually look GOOD in these things! Ugh. Being broke blows. The good news is my credit is decent enough that I got a credit card! Low limit, and high interest rate, but it's enough to pay off a couple of closed accts. I'm pretty happy that my financial situation is clearing up. Maybe I can buy some clothes soon :) (With cash, not credit. I'm not an idiot.)

178

Okay, so last night Trevor made me Ms. Amana Jambalaya. And it was amazing. So amazing, I had two bowls of it, and THEN a piece of pie. (I guess pumpkin was on sale.)

So, that's my weakness. Winter foods. Carbs. Actually, all food in general. I effing love it. I don't eat a lot of fast-food crap, and when I do, I eat the best thing they have on the menu. I'm a foodie, and I love to taste. Problem is, when we cook, it's typically recipies for 4. I packup leftovers for work the next day, but typically there's more for me to snack on.

Trev had a Sharks game again tonight (and the boys KILLED it), and I got off work early, so I got to spend a good 90min at the gym today. Same strategy as last time, run a fast mile, lift, do elliptical for 25min to get cardio back up, and get rid of that latic acid that makes me hurt the next morning.

I've been talking to some people (Tim, Lauren) and we're working on keeping each other accountable. Lauren is a beast, and actually, Tim ran multiple miles his first day back to the gym, so I guess its more keeping me feeling guilty if I DON'T go to the gym.

I need to change my BC Rx. Get lower Estrogen, or something. This weight gain is retarded. But, until then, it's only going to be hard work.

Total champ.

Okay, so I didn't get up this morning and go to the gym at 5:30.

I suck.

I DID go to the gym tho! Just after work. I like it then. I like it in the morning too. Actually, I pretty much love the gym. Just a matter of remembering that at 5am.

I ran a quick (for me) mile, at 7mph. It's about an 8.5min mile. Then I did a bunch of machines...the thigh one where you work both inner and outer thigh (great for my hip flexor), leg press (they have two different ones...one where you push yourself away, and one where you push the platform away.). Then the ab one where you bring your knees to your elbows, leg lifts for my belly boobs, and side crunches on the back extension bench thingy. Then some arm stuff. Then back to the abs for another round.

Then I did the elliptical for 20min, burned over 200cal on that, then did a half-mile jog to warm down. (mph) Came home, and sauteed two zucchini, half a package of mushrooms, and a chicken breast in some salt, pepper, garlic, and 0-cal spray butter.

Hopefully I won't be too sore tomorrow, since I ran and ellipticalled after I did weight stuff. I'll take an advil with water before bed. BECAUUUSSSE tomorrow is hour-long boot camp at 5:30am. Eff.

Oh, and I'm trying to eat 1300 cal a day. Well, when I say "I'm trying", I mean I just started today. And I'm over by 10%,(calories only, not deducting any for working out) but I definitely see where I can cut that out. Like the two cookies I had before work.
Yeah. Not so bueno.

Oh yeah, it's that time again

Oh HELLO SkinnyChels. How are you? It's been so long.

Well, folks, it's that time again. Auditions. The summer with SCV was amazing, and I got down to 164lbs, two days after tour. But then silly me started taking birth control again after a 3mo hiatus, and wasn't working out 12hrs a day, so I put on 15lbs.

I've been to the gym a couple times a week for the past month, and managed to lose about 5lbs of that 15. I'm working on faster running, versus running just for a long time. I can job at 5mph for 30min, easy. So, I'm starting at 7mph for a mile, then some elliptical for 20-30min to keep up my heartrate. Work on my cardio endurance without actually running a million miles to kill my leg.

Oh right, my leg. During movein, I tore my left-hip flexor, which let me tell you, hurts like no other. You can't walk, you can't sleep, let alone march all day long. But, my good friends, ibuprofen and ice, helped me get through it. Now it;s just an inconvenient ache. The only plus side is that I don't pay as much attention to my aching knees.

I'm writing today because audition camp is soon upon us. (a month exactly this week) And, even tho I got WAY little for me, I was still the biggest girl in the hornline. (I wasn't for a while in move-ins, but then the other Lauren went home. Oh darn.) And, I'm kinda over that. Another girl in the sop line kinda amazed me...we entered at about the same size, but she was running 5mi a day in the spring season, and never dropped out of running block once. She annoyed me sometimes in her perfection, but ultimately I love her, and was envious of her dedication.

So, that's going to be me this season. It's my age-out year, my 6th year of drum corps...I'd love to get a routine going that I can maintain AFTER the season. I eat pretty decent, but there's definitely room for improvement.

I'm not exactly worried about being cut, but I do want to make a personal statement when I see everybody again after 3mo. So, starting tomorrow morning, I'm at the gym at 5:30. There's a class, Mon-Fri, at that time. Different everyday, but all interest me. Then, I have about an hour to do running or whatever else I feel I need to do to accomplish my drum-corps style conditioning.

Sooooo lets go!

100th post!!

100th post, not 100lbs. But it's alright, I didn't have 100lbs to lose anyway :)

So, my fruit flush diet went REALLY well. I'm typically not into fad diets, or quick fix diets, but this one really worked for me. It was three days of dieting, broken up into two distinct eating styles. The first day was a total of 32oz of water and 1.5C of unsweetened protein mix, broken up into 5 "meals" in the first day, one 6oz glass of the mix every two hours. Then, at dinner on the first day, I was allowed a HUGE salad w/ a little bit of meat, and a dressing of olive oil and lemon juice. This was to prepare my body for the next two days, which consisted of again, 5 meals every 2 hours, 100 cal worth of fruit. Then, at dinner, another big salad, same dressing, no meat, and a protein drink.

I did really well, had one half of a cookie on the second day, but all in all lost 9lbs! The last two weeks I gained 10lbs, from eating like shit, not working out, and the crappy food staying in my stomach.

So now, I know the weight loss got me down to my "coasting" weight, I guess. When I'm simply maintaining, and not losing. But now I feel really clean, and I want to keep feeling liek that, also, 9lbs lighter and more energy gives me the push to get out and work out, since I don't feel like a fat bloated pig anymore.

From now until tour, which is a MONTH away, I'm just going on a really low fat, high cardio weight loss plan. I'm still set on my goal of 150, but 15lbs is a lot to lose. I mean, regardless, I'm going to lose a TON of weight on tour, and eat 4 full carbalicious meals a day on tour. I HAVE to, to survive. We're likely eating 3000cal a day on tour, to make up for the 14hr rehearsals, running around in the sun all day.

Here's the thing. My body is more prepared than it ever has been going into a drum corps tour. I mean, in 2005, I called my mom and asked her to mail me a pair of size 14 jeans, which I wasn't able to fit into until Allentown (mid way thru tour, for you non-drum corps folks). Now, heading into all-days, I'm wearing a size 8, and I'm STILL one of the bigger girls in the corps. (There's beer-drinking boys who are bigger than me, but most of the girls with weight on them are naturally little, just with some belly from the offseason.) I promised myself I'd never EVER drop out of running block, like I have in years past. Everyone has when they were just starting out. So far, I have never dropped out, or walked with Vanguard. I trust this staff, and know they won't push us farther than we're physically capable of. They'll push us to that limit, for SURE! But not a step past. I don't fear getting hurt, especially being in the shape I am.

The first week of all-day rehearsals consists of two block days: first 4hr block is all conditioning, and the next is marching basics. I expect to lose, oh, 10lbs that first week. No joke.

Thanks to everyone who keeps reading this, I know it has slowed down since my inital progress last year. With me, I think maintaining a healthy weight is always going to be a conscious effort with me, not necessarily a struggle, but something that I'll always have to focus on. Let's be honest, I love food. But I like feeling good about myself, better :)