184.4

Kinda crazy.

Anyway, I think it's time to start working some weights back into my routine. Maybe twice a week, after all my cardio, I'll do my usual stuff. Abs, legs, butt, arms.

I don't want to lose all this weight, and then have a ton of loose skin, you know? Gross.

I told Boyfriend my ass would be smaller by the time he got back. (he's gone this weekend til Sunday) He didn't believe me. He'll see :)

186.2

Almost 15 "ellbees" as a friend put it, and I can definitely feel the difference in my alcohol tolerance.

Best diet drink ever?

Absolut Pear Vodka and Diet Sprite. Zero Cal, amaaaazing taste.

186.6

Damn, I'm good.

I went to Old Navy today to buy a pair of jeans. I knew I would leave with a pair, even if they were size 16's. The bigger stores have all the sizes in stock.

Well!

Came home with TWO pairs of jeans, a jean skirt, and a few shirts just for fun, and they're all 14, slim fit, low waist.

And no muffin-topping or ass-cracking. They're not too tight at all, like where I'd normally say "Oh, I need to just break them in." I guess 5 lbs does make a difference, huh?

Luckily I got all of that for $140, so I didn't break the bank. I'll probably keep buying jeans from there until I decide I'm done losing weight. I'm losing it so fast, I don't want to spend $100 on one pair of jeans alone.

Ahh! I'm so close to 15lbs. This is ridiculous. I still kinda feel the same tho. Like when I look at my body, it's all the same shape, just smaller proportions. I can't wait to see a different silouette, and I think it's right around the corner :D

edit: After wearing my jeans to a hockey game, and not doing anything particularly active, I was pulling my NEW jeans up all night, because they kept falling down. Hah!

Trev cut off my head, but my body is bangin. All new clothes. Doesn't show my hot leopard heels tho :(

187.8

So, I lost a little bit in the last week. I went to the gym all the time, but my eating habits were pretty wack. We went to a bunch of events this weekend (hockey game, Blue Man Group, Justin Timberlake) and combined with working, I never really had a chance to eat properly. I didn't eat MUCH, but when I did, it wasn't very healthy.

So I took today off of work, and now I'm eating cottage cheese. (SlimFast is the only other thing I've had yet today.) I'm going down to a job fair to apply at Starbucks, and maybe Jamba. I don't know if I want to work for the same company as my boyfriend, but we'll see. Starbucks actually offered me a job this summer, but I had already moved back to Florida.

I'm just kinda over my job. The only rewarding thing about it is getting cash in my pocket every time a table gets up.

Anyway, I'm gonna go do that, and then go to the gym for a looong time. I've got plenty of aggression I need to get out (hello? I've been on my period for like two weeks.) Come home and deep deep clean my house, which will only burn more calories. I need to get past the 180s. Once I get down to the 170s, I'll actually feel like I'm losing weight, like Miss Reno said. This summer I was about 183 when I was on my carrots and peanut butter diet for two weeks. I honestly don't know when I was in the 170s.

Also, I'm moving home in May, and I want there to be a signifigant difference in my size. Like, people from high school will see me on the street, and be like, "Chelsea? No way! Florida was good to you!" (Which is has been, I suppose. Not good enough to stay.)

Sooooo I'm goin for 170 by May 1.

That's on 18lbs from here, and then I only have 20 more to lose to reach my birthday goal. We will seeeeee!

I'm bringin' sexy back.

188.2

Okay, so I have a confession to make:

I am the worst dieter EVER.

People try to tell me to eat chicken, tuna, and lettuce, and that's it. Or no steak. Or no carbs. Or no chocolate. You know the drill.

The thing is, I'm a fat kid who loves food at heart. Disallowing things from my plate only makes me want them more. Luckily, I love veggies, so that's not a problem.

But I also love Taco Bell, and stuffed-crust pizza, (both of which I've had in the past two nights.)

And yet, I'm still losing weight.

I basically eat with the idea that a calorie is just that. A calorie. Doesn't matter if it comes from cookies, or a can of peas, it's still going to sit in your body the same if you don't burn it off.

So I start off slow in the mornings, having a SlimFast(190cal) for breakfast. Sometimes at work I'll have a cookie (70 cal ea.) or a cup of chicken noodle, minus the noodles, so really just chicken and chicken broth(140cal), or I'll have two cookies and no chicken non-noodle, or cookies AND chicken non-noodle(lotsacal), or nothing at all. Depends on how I feel that day.

After my shift, I might have a salad, if I've been good and had nothing to eat. Or I might not.

I'll get home, and might have a 100cal pack of pudding, or 90cal of cottage cheese. Or maybe not.

And at dinner, I definitely fill up with veggies first, but then I'll still have my steak and potatoes.

See? I'm absolutely terrible about this whole regimented dieting thing. I can't stick to it. Basically, I eat little in the mornings, and save up for dinner, because thats when I get to have the good stuff.

If I was to do the whole 6 meals a day thing, I'd be eating all the time. I'd snack between snacks, or have snacks be meals. I'm a terrible muncher. So I can't follow a diet that encourages that sort of thing.

I don't suggest following my way, unless "my way" is just to eat how I feel, but not exceed between 1000-1200cal a day. And I only REALLY count daytime calories. If I'm done eating breakfast and lunch and I'm only at 400-500 cal, then I know whatever I have for dinner will fit in my calorie bracket.


Anyway. I just wanted to confess I had taco bell AND pizza in the past two days, and then justify it, haha.

Down a half a pound, off to the gym now.

188.6

Woohoo! Over that hump.

Actually, I pretty much torched the hump and then threw it into a river of bile.

Pretty huh? Those 190s are NOT coming back. No way.

my car is fixed!

Yay. So now I can go up to the gym again, and tan again...so excited. I'm also gonna buy a tape measure so I know my measurements for sure. That way it's not "oh, my pants are loose" but "I've lost 2 inches."

Yay.

190.4

So, yesterday boyfriend and I went to the mall, and he was determined to buy me new jeans. However, whereever I went, 14s weren't fitting. In the bad way. Delia's jeans were able to get up over my butt, but I had some severe muffin topping. Not gonna lie.

The last two weeks I've kinda fallen back onto the fat wagon. I've had car issues, and I don't want to drive all the way up to my gym. True, I'll drive to and from work, and 20 min back and forth to visit boyfriend at work, but something about getting on the highway for ten minutes to get to the gym freaks me out a bit.

So, I've been using equipment we've got in the neighborhood...bike, treadmill, and the elipitcal, but not everyday, and not nearly as hard as I did at Planet Fitness. It's a small room with a huge mirror, and no TV or other fellow soon-to-be-skinny people. I have't GAINED weight, but I lost 10lbs two weeks ago, and haven't moved. I think it's really mental to get over that half a pound to get to the 180's, but yesterday simultaneously discouraged and motivated me.

Ten pounds is so much! My jeans are falling off of me! And yet, new 14s don't fit. I've been pretty disillusioned. I got so comfortable losing 10lbs in a month, with only 40 more to go, I got super cocky. The fact is I want to lose MORE that 50lbs. I do NOT want to have to buy 16s. No frickin' way. Nope nope nope. I want to be out of 14s for life. I want to be able to walk into EVERY store, and not have the excuses.
"they're not stretchy"
"they're slim fit"
"they don't cater to bigger sizes."

I will not buy my clothes out of a catalouge, or at JCPenny's. I want all those X's and L's out of my wardrobe.

Luckily, I have an extremely supportive boyfriend. He was so sweet, demanding I find some cute clothes that I'll be happy to wear. He still wants me to find a new pair of jeans, since I wear my poor tired AEjeans pretty much every day. Wants me to find some flirty skirts, tops, shorts, capris...he tells me everyday how beautiful I am, and I can only see it sometimes. He never really buys me normal stuff; we usually do clothes shopping alone. But he was so determined to see me smile, he was happy to swipe his card yesterday. He made me realize how stupid I'm being about hating the size my jeans say. The fact is, I need new ones. There's no arguing it. He doesn't care what size I am, the scale says I've lost weight, he can tell I've lost weight, there's no denying it. So freaking out over a number is wasted energy.

I've been posting my lowest weights, not what they say everyday. Time for me to be completely completely honest with myself. It's not going to go down every single day. It SHOULD, but there's going to be some bad days.

So here's me restarting. Again. And maybe another trip to the mall here soon.

Much love and luck to Ms. Reno, Banana's Momma, and Sarah (hah, you don't have an internet alias, my love.) You guys keep me honest. Most of the time, haha.

NikeTown 5K

I'm going to run a 5k!

It's a NikeTown Run for Kids, and it's in Miami. All entrance fees go straight to local schools around here, for their PE programs. Pretty awesome, huh? Well Boyfriend's job allows him free entry into this. Soooo we're going to do it.

A few months ago, Boyfriend said he wanted to run a 5K by his birthday (in early April). We both used to run alot, short distances, but pretty much every day, and we've fallen off the wagon a bit. It's easy not to run when there's not 64 other people running around you. [Drum corps reference, sorry for the uninformed.]

Soooo I kinda suck at running tho. I have bad knees and I really can't get motivated to do it. So it should be interesting doing 3.1mi because I chose to. Also, running alongside Boyfriend, cuz he doesn't even want to go to the gym with me, so this should be fun.

From now on, on top of my 25min on the bike, and 30min on the eliptical, I'm going to add in running one mile, consecutively, until it gets easier and I can add more. No walking half of it, then running a half mile, nope. I've got a month to get in shape for this, and it's not like it's a marathon or anything.

In other related news, I'm back down to the weight I was before I got all sick and poopy.Well, I guess I wasn't too poopy, since none of that was happenin' for me. Anyway, 180's here I come.

baby got [less] back

Soooo ten pounds. What does that mean really?

Means a new pair of jeans for me soon, that's for sure. Take a look at these next two pictures. (Pardon, they're all of my ass.)


This was Christmas, after gorging myself on my family's food, and Boyfriend's family's even better food. Not one spare inch in those jeans.


This is from about, oh, ten minutes ago. Same pair of jeans, PLENTY of room. Seriously. Thisclose to a 12.

I'm not going anywhere near my scale for a WEEK.

Ah, I was so close, and then something has to happen. I got to 190, something I haven't been since this summer, and then I get the flu, and everything is all backed up, and there's extra poundage sitting on me that simply won't come out.

A friend said it's the lack of water and lack of exercise that's stopping me up, but whatever it is, it's frustrating. Just when I start to see some serious progress something has to happen.

I know it's only been a couple days, but I just feel so unmotivated. I worked out this morning, and was completely drenched in sweat, which was nice, but I get home, and I see a number I haven't in a while. I'm not counting it too seriously, because I am, quite literally, full of shit.

I'm heading over to the gym for a second go-around of the day. I'm the type of person that gets discouraged pretty easily. Luckily, my eating habits are still okay...had a huge salad at work today.

Tonights dinner: grilled sirloin, scalloped potatoes, and lots and lots of asparagus for me. I know the potatoes aren't THAT great for me, but it's all about portion control, and I've only had about 400calories total so far today.

Despite my personal plumbing issues, my shrinking body has encouraged other women at work to come work out with me. Looks like we're going to have quite the little group at Planet Fitness. I should find out about referal specials... Either way, they're keeping me going. I hardly see my boyfriend anymore, and when I do, it's dark and we're in bed. I can't wait for our Valentines/anniversary date so I can absolutely blow his mind with how incredible I look.

In other news, Anna Nicole Smith died today. As we all know, she was the TrimSpa spokes model. The creater of Atkins died a few years ago of congestive heart failure. Makes good ol' diet and exercise a bit more likeable than quick-fixes, eh? My HyrdoxyCut ran out, I don't think I'm going to replace it.

190.6

That is all :)

SuperBowl!!!

So, I've been really good recently. Today, after cleaning the house and work, I got on the scale all dressed for our football get-together. 192.nothing with jeans and everything. Prrrretty awesome, considering my stuff usually weighs 4-5lbs.

I didn't eat all day, to make up for the beer and other football food today. So I should be okay. Took my Hydroxycut today just for the extra help.

Happy football!

191.4

Why is it that when I feel yuckiest, I weigh my lowest? Ohswell!

Gym later this afternoon after work. Plenty of time to get done what I need without worrying about getting somewhere on time.

back on track.

I've been stalling since Friday...we went to Disney and I ate okay, but obviously didn't get to the gym. I worked out in our gym on Monday, did nothing yesterday (but work), and finally today I got back up to Planet Fitness.

I've refocused my exercise plan. Still doing 50min of cardio or more a day (at the gym, that is. Doesn't include all the running around at work, or any sex.) But I found this awesome Top Ten list to get an awesome booty. I love mine, it just could be downsized. As I told someone the other day, more J.Lo, less Jabba.

10 Best Booty Exercises

Also, I need to work on my arms. It was sad to take a bunch of cute pictures in Disney with the Boyfriend, only to see them later, and realize in one picture, my arm looks the size of his face. Not so hot. Again, my problem is how much muscle I have in there. I want to tone, not bulk. I haven't done any weight lifting in my arm area, because I really don't want them to get bigger. I'm doing all my cardio, and getting my heartrate up to burn fat all over, but it doesn't seem to be coming from there just yet. I found this website which shows a few tricep exercises, complete with pictures. I'll have to try to work some light weights in.

I'm sore today, and it feels amazing. I almost want to go to the gym for a second time today, but we'll see. I haven't hit that 190 mark yet, because of my laziness the past few days. But now I'm back again :)


Also, it's nice to see other's blogging about weight-loss. A little internet support group :)

RIP Sean Holton 1966-2007

A very good friend died today. While I wasn't his closest friend, he was always there to make me, and everyone else who knew him, smile.

A few weeks ago, he had gastric bypass surgery, in hopes of leading a healthier life.

Today he died, and when I first heard, I didn't know what to say. I was sad, but not crying. But after thinking about it more, I'm devastated. He was a man who never hurt anyone, supported the music community, was loved by anyone who ever crossed his path, and was trying to better himself.

The anonymous poster who suggested, "give it up fatty" will be sorely disappointed, as now I even have even more motivation to get myself healthy. Unfortunately, there's a point where the body gives up, and I'm never going to let it get to that point.

RIP Sean.
You'll always be loved and remembered.
♥

In response...

There's been some questioning of my actual weight, and where it might be coming from. Here's some background:

I've always been heavy, but I've always been well-proportioned. Even when I was my heaviest at 220, nothing was bigger than anything else. I definitely have a ghetto booty, haha, but it's not enormous. I've never had a gut either, like most fat girls get.


I've just always been active. Whether it was soccer, band, or drum corps, I might have been bigger, but I was always able to keep up with everyone. There's a whole lot of muscle on me.

So that explains it. Sorta, I guess. I'm not hiding some huge lower body with creative MySpace angles. I'm sitting here telling the world I'm 192lbs, for jeez.

Here's a picture of me this summer:


and finally, this Christmas, snowboarding in Tahoe, with extra layers of clothes on:


I'm definitely 192, but I definitely don't look it, which is why I'm not afraid to throw that number out there. I'm just the poster child for "thick" girls. Not fat, not jiggly, just thick. So if I look like this when the scale says I'm heavy, just imagine what it will be like when the scale says I'm normal. I'm definitely not giving up. I have an excellent support system, and incredible results so far. I'm actually enjoying myself.

192 point ZERO

Holy crap.

I don't feel like I've been eating the best the last few days, and I've been sporadic at the gym. Last night I made pot roast, and had a few cookies that day at work. Today I've had Special K, oranges and cottage cheese and a cup of chicken noodle soup at work.

Come home, feeling icky and fat and definitely not motivated to go to they gym at all.....get on the scale thinking, "if it's high, its the motivation I need to go the gym."

196.somethin with work clothes on.

192.nothin nakie.

Hollllly crap. I think I can definitely make it to 190 by the end of the week.

HOW many calories?

Okay, so normally on the eliptical at PF, I burn 350-380cal in 30 min...480-520cal in 40minutes (all on level 16/25)

I just did 30 minutes on the eliptical in the gym in the poolhouse at my complex, and it's a totally different machine. I did level 9 (out of 16)....and it said I burned 800 something calories.

Uhhhhh okay?


I mean, if so, sweet. But it kinda seems ridiculous to me.

193.4

Down a pound and a half!!! (That's -4.4lbs this week.) Came off a little slower than I hoped, because of that nut binge I mentioned in the last post, and I skipped a day at the gym yesterday because I worked an extra shift. I was just exhausted, and thought I shouldn't push it.

Trevor bought us a exercise ball, and it came with a little booklet of stuff to do. It's fun! So I'll fit some of that into my routine, probably at night just for some stretching and such.

My goal doesn't seem nearly as impossible anymore, as I'm getting closer to the 190 mark. I'll be stoked to be back in the 180's like I was all summer. But once I'm below that? Ooh boy. This girl's gonna be bangin'.